Oprah Winfrey

They told me no or not anymore.

I spoke with doctors who felt crushed by insurance companies, not able to practice the care they wanted.

I heard from first responders wondering if their efforts were really making an actual difference.

I heard from caregivers who felt like they mattered too much to everyone else, except that their needs were never prioritized.

I spoke with a college student

who told me that she only felt like she mattered when her GPA was high and her weight was low.

So it was a crushing experience, but I also met people who found a way back to mattering.

We have, you know, this is, as you said in the intro, this basic human need that we have stopped treating as a need and more like a nice to have.

And the problem is when you don't feed that need

you will find other ways to meet it, whether conscious or not conscious.

It is, it's a false sense of mattering.

It's sort of the junk food of mattering.

I've been thinking as I was writing this book, I was thinking about the theologian, Henry Nouwen, who talks about the three great lies of our society.

I am what I have.

I am what I do.

I am what people say and think about me.

That is the opposite of mattering.

That is the belief that I do not matter.

My mattering is contingent.

It is contingent on my house.