Oz Pearlman

But anyway, I got stuck all weekend and I watched them with cards. And it was like I had trained my whole life for this moment where I walked up record scratch to like 40 dudes. And I go, can I see those cards? And it was like everyone looked at me like, what's this guy about to do? And I just did car tricks for the next eight hours. When I went to take a shower, I'm like thinking of the show Oz.

But anyway, I got stuck all weekend and I watched them with cards. And it was like I had trained my whole life for this moment where I walked up record scratch to like 40 dudes. And I go, can I see those cards? And it was like everyone looked at me like, what's this guy about to do? And I just did car tricks for the next eight hours. When I went to take a shower, I'm like thinking of the show Oz.

But anyway, I got stuck all weekend and I watched them with cards. And it was like I had trained my whole life for this moment where I walked up record scratch to like 40 dudes. And I go, can I see those cards? And it was like everyone looked at me like, what's this guy about to do? And I just did car tricks for the next eight hours. When I went to take a shower, I'm like thinking of the show Oz.

I'm like, oh, my God, right now. I had protection. I went to the shower, Mecosta County Jail in Michigan, and literally I had people being like, go take a shower. We got you, bro. What did you go to jail for? Oh, so stupid. So we had – this is so dumb. This almost derailed my whole career. Drunken idiots. I go up to visit a buddy in college and we steal from a Papa John's. Don't ask me why.

I'm like, oh, my God, right now. I had protection. I went to the shower, Mecosta County Jail in Michigan, and literally I had people being like, go take a shower. We got you, bro. What did you go to jail for? Oh, so stupid. So we had – this is so dumb. This almost derailed my whole career. Drunken idiots. I go up to visit a buddy in college and we steal from a Papa John's. Don't ask me why.

I'm like, oh, my God, right now. I had protection. I went to the shower, Mecosta County Jail in Michigan, and literally I had people being like, go take a shower. We got you, bro. What did you go to jail for? Oh, so stupid. So we had – this is so dumb. This almost derailed my whole career. Drunken idiots. I go up to visit a buddy in college and we steal from a Papa John's. Don't ask me why.

A broken phone at a college Papa John's. Just being idiots. I paid for the pizza. But there was a broken phone on the counter. And, you know, this is like me sleight of hand style. I'm like, I'm stealing this thing. It's just gone. And it was in my jacket. And then I told my buddies, you guys got to get something, too. So they go in the bathroom, which doubles up as the employee locker room.

A broken phone at a college Papa John's. Just being idiots. I paid for the pizza. But there was a broken phone on the counter. And, you know, this is like me sleight of hand style. I'm like, I'm stealing this thing. It's just gone. And it was in my jacket. And then I told my buddies, you guys got to get something, too. So they go in the bathroom, which doubles up as the employee locker room.

A broken phone at a college Papa John's. Just being idiots. I paid for the pizza. But there was a broken phone on the counter. And, you know, this is like me sleight of hand style. I'm like, I'm stealing this thing. It's just gone. And it was in my jacket. And then I told my buddies, you guys got to get something, too. So they go in the bathroom, which doubles up as the employee locker room.

And they take three dirty shirts, dirty shirts from a laundry bin. And we bring them back to my buddy's house like idiots. We wear them. And we at the party. I barely remember this. I was like blackout drunk are like Papa John's. Who wants a pizza? Who wants a pizza? I end up going to sleep on his futon right at like 2 a.m. And at 4 a.m. someone comes in and like, yo, the cops are here.

And they take three dirty shirts, dirty shirts from a laundry bin. And we bring them back to my buddy's house like idiots. We wear them. And we at the party. I barely remember this. I was like blackout drunk are like Papa John's. Who wants a pizza? Who wants a pizza? I end up going to sleep on his futon right at like 2 a.m. And at 4 a.m. someone comes in and like, yo, the cops are here.

And they take three dirty shirts, dirty shirts from a laundry bin. And we bring them back to my buddy's house like idiots. We wear them. And we at the party. I barely remember this. I was like blackout drunk are like Papa John's. Who wants a pizza? Who wants a pizza? I end up going to sleep on his futon right at like 2 a.m. And at 4 a.m. someone comes in and like, yo, the cops are here.

I'm like, dude, it's not my house. What do you want from me? Did you guys post the videos? No, this is pre-social media, man. No, no. Somebody ratted us out. Somebody's roommate, I found this out way later, called and goes, yo, bro, there's a bunch of dudes here with a broken phone from Papa John's. I didn't know any of this. But somebody comes in, they're like, yo, the cops are here.

I'm like, dude, it's not my house. What do you want from me? Did you guys post the videos? No, this is pre-social media, man. No, no. Somebody ratted us out. Somebody's roommate, I found this out way later, called and goes, yo, bro, there's a bunch of dudes here with a broken phone from Papa John's. I didn't know any of this. But somebody comes in, they're like, yo, the cops are here.

I'm like, dude, it's not my house. What do you want from me? Did you guys post the videos? No, this is pre-social media, man. No, no. Somebody ratted us out. Somebody's roommate, I found this out way later, called and goes, yo, bro, there's a bunch of dudes here with a broken phone from Papa John's. I didn't know any of this. But somebody comes in, they're like, yo, the cops are here.

I'm like, they're here for you. And I'm like, here for me? What do you mean they're here for me? I don't live here. And cops come in the room, and I'm wearing aggressively small underwear at this point. This is like... Tidy whiteys. This couldn't have been more of like a bad perp walk. And they go, yo, you're under arrest. And I'm like, for what? And they're like, for stealing from Papa John's.

I'm like, they're here for you. And I'm like, here for me? What do you mean they're here for me? I don't live here. And cops come in the room, and I'm wearing aggressively small underwear at this point. This is like... Tidy whiteys. This couldn't have been more of like a bad perp walk. And they go, yo, you're under arrest. And I'm like, for what? And they're like, for stealing from Papa John's.

I'm like, they're here for you. And I'm like, here for me? What do you mean they're here for me? I don't live here. And cops come in the room, and I'm wearing aggressively small underwear at this point. This is like... Tidy whiteys. This couldn't have been more of like a bad perp walk. And they go, yo, you're under arrest. And I'm like, for what? And they're like, for stealing from Papa John's.

And what am I going to say? I'm wearing the shirt. This is on a Friday night. How old are you? I was 20 years old and I was just about to get an internship for Merrill Lynch. And while this story is hilarious now, it's like a funny chapter in my book. It was like, God help me. Did I avoid everything? And then when I went to jail, yo, scariest, one of the scariest days of my life.

And what am I going to say? I'm wearing the shirt. This is on a Friday night. How old are you? I was 20 years old and I was just about to get an internship for Merrill Lynch. And while this story is hilarious now, it's like a funny chapter in my book. It was like, God help me. Did I avoid everything? And then when I went to jail, yo, scariest, one of the scariest days of my life.