Patric Gagne

I remember it probably... Probably didn't really resonate with me until I was sort of actively in school and relating to other people through socialization. But I just remember a very... keen awareness that I was not like the other kids. I had a younger sister, so I understood what complex emotional development looked like. And I also understood that I didn't have that.

So my sister seemed to take to the learned emotions, especially guilt and shame, like a fish to water. I mean, it was instant for her. And I remember not getting it at all But with that also came the realization, not only do I not get this, but I also understand that I can't talk about it.

So my sister seemed to take to the learned emotions, especially guilt and shame, like a fish to water. I mean, it was instant for her. And I remember not getting it at all But with that also came the realization, not only do I not get this, but I also understand that I can't talk about it.

So my sister seemed to take to the learned emotions, especially guilt and shame, like a fish to water. I mean, it was instant for her. And I remember not getting it at all But with that also came the realization, not only do I not get this, but I also understand that I can't talk about it.

Because the few times I tried, it was very clear that adults were not comfortable around kids who started talking about how little remorse they have. And it was very much like a double bind for me in the sense that I was constantly told, you need to be honest. You need to be honest about your feelings. You need to be honest about your reactions.

Because the few times I tried, it was very clear that adults were not comfortable around kids who started talking about how little remorse they have. And it was very much like a double bind for me in the sense that I was constantly told, you need to be honest. You need to be honest about your feelings. You need to be honest about your reactions.

Because the few times I tried, it was very clear that adults were not comfortable around kids who started talking about how little remorse they have. And it was very much like a double bind for me in the sense that I was constantly told, you need to be honest. You need to be honest about your feelings. You need to be honest about your reactions.

And yet when I did that, I was also met with instant disapproval and punishment. So I leaned into coping mechanisms, deceit, manipulation, charm. And over time, those developed into a lifestyle. But I remember as a kid feeling like, what choice do I have? I can't be honest. I remember the, and I think I talked about this in the book, the truth shall set you free.

And yet when I did that, I was also met with instant disapproval and punishment. So I leaned into coping mechanisms, deceit, manipulation, charm. And over time, those developed into a lifestyle. But I remember as a kid feeling like, what choice do I have? I can't be honest. I remember the, and I think I talked about this in the book, the truth shall set you free.

And yet when I did that, I was also met with instant disapproval and punishment. So I leaned into coping mechanisms, deceit, manipulation, charm. And over time, those developed into a lifestyle. But I remember as a kid feeling like, what choice do I have? I can't be honest. I remember the, and I think I talked about this in the book, the truth shall set you free.

That was never the case for me, ever, ever. It was such a lie. And I also remember, I remember feeling, so much theory about Santa Claus because, okay. So it's this whole, it's a lie. It's a lie that we tell every kid. And I remember watching them telling my sister like, oh, there's a Santa and dah, dah, dah, dah. And I was like, okay, so let me get this straight.

That was never the case for me, ever, ever. It was such a lie. And I also remember, I remember feeling, so much theory about Santa Claus because, okay. So it's this whole, it's a lie. It's a lie that we tell every kid. And I remember watching them telling my sister like, oh, there's a Santa and dah, dah, dah, dah. And I was like, okay, so let me get this straight.

That was never the case for me, ever, ever. It was such a lie. And I also remember, I remember feeling, so much theory about Santa Claus because, okay. So it's this whole, it's a lie. It's a lie that we tell every kid. And I remember watching them telling my sister like, oh, there's a Santa and dah, dah, dah, dah. And I was like, okay, so let me get this straight.

I'm not allowed to lie about anything, but you can create this, this world where this man lives and comes down a chimney and Oh, and don't talk to strangers unless it's this insane person that comes out once a year, in which case we're going to sit you on his lap and you are instructed to tell him all of your secrets. I remember thinking as a kid, this is insane. And being told, no, you're insane.

I'm not allowed to lie about anything, but you can create this, this world where this man lives and comes down a chimney and Oh, and don't talk to strangers unless it's this insane person that comes out once a year, in which case we're going to sit you on his lap and you are instructed to tell him all of your secrets. I remember thinking as a kid, this is insane. And being told, no, you're insane.

I'm not allowed to lie about anything, but you can create this, this world where this man lives and comes down a chimney and Oh, and don't talk to strangers unless it's this insane person that comes out once a year, in which case we're going to sit you on his lap and you are instructed to tell him all of your secrets. I remember thinking as a kid, this is insane. And being told, no, you're insane.

You're the one that's wrong on this. And no one really seemed to get that. But what I noticed was happening was, I started to notice this pressure, this tension. And I thought for the longest time that the tension was associated with apathy, with the fact that I was void of feeling the social emotions. But looking back, I realized that wasn't the case. The apathy was never the problem.

You're the one that's wrong on this. And no one really seemed to get that. But what I noticed was happening was, I started to notice this pressure, this tension. And I thought for the longest time that the tension was associated with apathy, with the fact that I was void of feeling the social emotions. But looking back, I realized that wasn't the case. The apathy was never the problem.

You're the one that's wrong on this. And no one really seemed to get that. But what I noticed was happening was, I started to notice this pressure, this tension. And I thought for the longest time that the tension was associated with apathy, with the fact that I was void of feeling the social emotions. But looking back, I realized that wasn't the case. The apathy was never the problem.

It was the belief system that if I didn't do something to jolt myself out of apathy, that I would be outed and I wouldn't be able to live my life the way that I wanted to live it. I was very aware of rules. I was very aware of right and wrong. I understood that the perks of society were only granted to those who acted the way they were quote unquote supposed to.