Patty Wetterling
speaker
95 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2024
last heard Jan 2024
Patty Wetterling’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And then they sometimes get put back with the original parent. And that doesn't always go so easily either because they're manipulated in this process. So there are better ways to handle family stress than to stealing a child from a parent. Right. That's the one. And there are those who have taken the child and it's been a murder or murder-suicide and it's horrific. So we can't belittle.
It's all part of... Oh, the responsibility of parenting and knowing where resources are and not feeling alone. There are so many more resources now than there were in child advocacy centers where you can take a child. If they need to see the other parent, they can safely do that in a setting that is supervised and everybody wins. The child is safe.
they both parents get visitation and you can rebuild whatever harm had happened so that there are lots of tools for parents um don't feel there was a loan the other the other advocacy piece that i was really proud of is i didn't know any other parent and when i called the national center for missing and exploited they protected the families they worked with so they wouldn't give me anybody to talk to so we've got a federal grant and
set up this parent-to-parent mentoring. And there were 24 family members that we pulled together way back in the early 90s. And they've assisted over, last I saw, 110,000 people to just connect. You're not alone. And how do you get through holidays? And how do you deal with your other siblings?
And just the media, the law enforcement, it's like we had so much going on and we could share everything. we could share energy and build and provide hope. And with that, kids come home. You know, I've met Elizabeth Smart, who was gone for nine months. I met JC Dugard, 17 and a half years she was gone. I know her mom. And kids come home.
We cannot give up on them just because they've been missing a long time. And So it's one thing to hear their stories. It's another to sit at a table and listen to them and feel that energy and talk about healing. The Cleveland women who were gone for 10 years reclaimed their lives. It's like they own every minute of every day. Nobody's going to tell them what to eat, what to wear, where to go.
You know, they have rebuilt their lives and they're phenomenal.
Right.
Right, exactly. I think each time they did something that used to be normal, there was a pause. And the bike thing we live, there's two circles of, of houses. So they could bike between the two circles. And I feel, I think a sense of, of safety because everybody was, it, it's that sense of community, you know, everybody is there for one another and they knew houses where they could stop and, and,
there would be always somebody caring for them. But I did get a letter from a woman who said her nephew was four when Jacob was kidnapped and he refused to ride his bike. He refused to learn how to ride a bike. And when he was 12, his dad took him out and put him on a bike. And his hope, the fear was Jacob was kidnapped while riding his bike.
And this, this child was deathly afraid of learning to ride a bike.
So somebody has a question.
Thank you. And one of the things that I talk to parents about, it kind of goes to your question, Stan. You start by, you know, it's like, yes, you can ride over to
Jason's house call me when you get there you know you you have rules and let me one time I dropped this was scary to me I dropped Trevor off at a dance at North Junior High and when I went to pick him up two hours later he wasn't there and the school was dark and he's I was, I was freaked out as you can imagine.
Um, cause of course Jacob was already missing and now I didn't have a clue where Trevor was. And, um, He came running behind the building and he said, you know, not hardly anybody showed up for the dance. So they closed it early. So I went over to so-and-so's house and just stayed there until it was time. And I said, Trevor, that's great. That's really smart. Call me.
You know, I really didn't know where you were. I had no idea. And if you hadn't come back at this time, I would have no idea. no idea. And that was scary to me. You know, parents can be scared too. So you build that, that trust and communication. And then to your comment earlier, I think it's what you won't talk about with kids that scares them the most.
So having conversations and building, I like to encourage parents, let your child at young ages pay for something in the grocery store. If they want candy, then they pay the clerk. They learn how to interact and, with people through doing things and they gain confidence and that helps keep them safe as well. Sorry.
Yes, and it's a respectfulness, a thoughtfulness, but it's hard when they get to those ages where you know, 18 to 25 or six, they're not, that prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed. They're not always thinking about mom and dad or consequences and all of that. So yeah, it's just, it's, it's, you never stop parenting. You never do.
That's a really good question. Thank you. One of the first things that we worked on, I asked law enforcement, what would have helped? What would, what would you need to respond quicker and better? And as you know, the Amber plan came out later with Amber Hagerman in Texas was missing and they, they activated the media immediately. And that became a national program, which was really good.
Minnesota had, we had, I met Amber's mom and, We had that going before there was a national initiative to make it everybody having it. But I asked them what else they would need, and there were two things. We did not have a central repository of information in Minnesota for law enforcement, and they were building it at the time, but I think it helped expedite getting that finished.
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