Paul Brunson

And the more time I've spent with them, I thought to myself, like, it's because their selection is being made through insecurity and low self-esteem. Yes. Just back to back to back to back to back. Yes. It's not being made based on, like, the essence of the person, the other areas of compatibility that matter more over the long term. It's that constant, like, surface level connection. Yes.

And the more time I've spent with them, I thought to myself, like, it's because their selection is being made through insecurity and low self-esteem. Yes. Just back to back to back to back to back. Yes. It's not being made based on, like, the essence of the person, the other areas of compatibility that matter more over the long term. It's that constant, like, surface level connection. Yes.

And I think most of us are making decisions based on our self-esteem. Did you see this as a matchmaker? You know, yes. Because you're saying rich guys, right? Yeah, exactly. You know, I distinctly remember when I was on previously and you'd asked about, like, what was one of the most profound things that you saw? And I never had thought about that question until you asked it.

And I think most of us are making decisions based on our self-esteem. Did you see this as a matchmaker? You know, yes. Because you're saying rich guys, right? Yeah, exactly. You know, I distinctly remember when I was on previously and you'd asked about, like, what was one of the most profound things that you saw? And I never had thought about that question until you asked it.

And it was these men who were coming who had incredibly low self-esteem. And what it was is these were what I call late bloomers. You know, it was the guy who always felt like no one liked, you know, no one liked how they appeared. They were the quote unquote ugly duckling. they then found the gym later in life, right? They found their mojo later in life. They were always studious.

And it was these men who were coming who had incredibly low self-esteem. And what it was is these were what I call late bloomers. You know, it was the guy who always felt like no one liked, you know, no one liked how they appeared. They were the quote unquote ugly duckling. they then found the gym later in life, right? They found their mojo later in life. They were always studious.

They were a bit introverted, maybe shy at the same time. And here they are. And when people walk past them, they're like, oh my God, this guy's a stud. Like, look at, look at this guy, he's a stud. But he never thought he was a stud, nor does he think he's a stud today, which is why I say go back to doing the inner work.

They were a bit introverted, maybe shy at the same time. And here they are. And when people walk past them, they're like, oh my God, this guy's a stud. Like, look at, look at this guy, he's a stud. But he never thought he was a stud, nor does he think he's a stud today, which is why I say go back to doing the inner work.

We would take a client like that and opposed to saying, let's put you on a date. We can't do that. We have to begin to work with you so that you realize how incredible you actually are.

We would take a client like that and opposed to saying, let's put you on a date. We can't do that. We have to begin to work with you so that you realize how incredible you actually are.

Why can't you just check them on a date if they've got low self-esteem?

Why can't you just check them on a date if they've got low self-esteem?

Because, okay. We can sit them across from the most incredible match, but they won't recognize it because they're making decisions based on their self-esteem. So they're making the decision that your friend made, right? How will this person look on my arm when I bring them to the Christmas party? Opposed to... What's their wellbeing look like? Or do we share any values, et cetera?

Because, okay. We can sit them across from the most incredible match, but they won't recognize it because they're making decisions based on their self-esteem. So they're making the decision that your friend made, right? How will this person look on my arm when I bring them to the Christmas party? Opposed to... What's their wellbeing look like? Or do we share any values, et cetera?

So you can end up taking someone who could be great for you and push them away or dismiss them, or worse, you can invite someone into your life who's not the best placed for you. because of a result of your insecurities.

So you can end up taking someone who could be great for you and push them away or dismiss them, or worse, you can invite someone into your life who's not the best placed for you. because of a result of your insecurities.

Like a narcissist.

Like a narcissist.

Like a narcissist, like a sadist, like a psychopath, like a Machiavellian, right? You know, there's a distinct group of bad people in the world. David Buss writes about this, that we have to realize they play on our fears. They understand when someone has low self-esteem, low well-being. They're attracted to that person. Why? Because they're better able to manipulate them. What's our best defense?

Like a narcissist, like a sadist, like a psychopath, like a Machiavellian, right? You know, there's a distinct group of bad people in the world. David Buss writes about this, that we have to realize they play on our fears. They understand when someone has low self-esteem, low well-being. They're attracted to that person. Why? Because they're better able to manipulate them. What's our best defense?