Paul Brunson

That's full transparency. Then the other was selective disclosure. Now, what is selective disclosure? There are rules to selective disclosure. One is that you share information that's relevant, right? You share information that considers their emotions, right?

That's full transparency. Then the other was selective disclosure. Now, what is selective disclosure? There are rules to selective disclosure. One is that you share information that's relevant, right? You share information that considers their emotions, right?

information that considers their boundaries, information that acknowledges the future of your relationship, that is timely, and the tone is very important, how it's delivered. That's selective disclosure. So this group was told to do that. What do you think happens at the end of the experiment? Everyone in the transparent group, they've killed each other. No. I was going to say, Jesus.

information that considers their boundaries, information that acknowledges the future of your relationship, that is timely, and the tone is very important, how it's delivered. That's selective disclosure. So this group was told to do that. What do you think happens at the end of the experiment? Everyone in the transparent group, they've killed each other. No. I was going to say, Jesus.

They haven't killed each other. But the group that had selective disclosure has higher satisfaction, less conflict, more autonomy in their relationship. So it's very important to know that what I say secret is I'm saying you have to selectively decide, and I think selective disclosure is a concept we should – spend more time thinking about.

They haven't killed each other. But the group that had selective disclosure has higher satisfaction, less conflict, more autonomy in their relationship. So it's very important to know that what I say secret is I'm saying you have to selectively decide, and I think selective disclosure is a concept we should – spend more time thinking about.

So give me an example of something that I shouldn't say to my partner.

So give me an example of something that I shouldn't say to my partner.

Okay. So once again, it depends what your partner's boundaries are, right? So you've discussed these boundaries. You know all these things. But just generalizing, I'll give an example. So your partner always leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Always. It annoys you. It annoys you, right? It annoys you. However, you know your partner is going through a lot of stress at work.

Okay. So once again, it depends what your partner's boundaries are, right? So you've discussed these boundaries. You know all these things. But just generalizing, I'll give an example. So your partner always leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Always. It annoys you. It annoys you, right? It annoys you. However, you know your partner is going through a lot of stress at work.

They're working on a new project. Is it the right time to bring up the fact that the cap annoys you? Probably not. Probably not. Here's a juicier one. Your ex slides into your DMs and wants to congratulate you. And it's platonic. It's... Congratulations. You respond back. Thank you. That's it. Nothing more.

They're working on a new project. Is it the right time to bring up the fact that the cap annoys you? Probably not. Probably not. Here's a juicier one. Your ex slides into your DMs and wants to congratulate you. And it's platonic. It's... Congratulations. You respond back. Thank you. That's it. Nothing more.

Look at you speaking from experience.

Look at you speaking from experience.

So, boom. You know your partner. is working through a trauma around jealousy. Do you run home and say, so-and-so sent me this message? Probably not, right? So selective disclosure means that you're taking into consideration the relevance of the information, their boundaries, their emotions, et cetera.

So, boom. You know your partner. is working through a trauma around jealousy. Do you run home and say, so-and-so sent me this message? Probably not, right? So selective disclosure means that you're taking into consideration the relevance of the information, their boundaries, their emotions, et cetera.

It truly is a concept that I believe will help to increase satisfaction and lower conflict in your relationship.

It truly is a concept that I believe will help to increase satisfaction and lower conflict in your relationship.

I think that's super important because a lot of the narrative is just never lie to your partner. And it's interesting because all of those things you've said have happened to me in my relationships before where an ex slides into your DMs and I'm literally sat with my girlfriend. And the ex is just saying, oh, I love this or something. And you almost panic because I'm like, I don't want to lie.

I think that's super important because a lot of the narrative is just never lie to your partner. And it's interesting because all of those things you've said have happened to me in my relationships before where an ex slides into your DMs and I'm literally sat with my girlfriend. And the ex is just saying, oh, I love this or something. And you almost panic because I'm like, I don't want to lie.