Paul Brunson

So that's a major issue. So her threshold level is different. So part of what I learned in investigating this chapter is for us to be so in tune with our partner that we understand what their threshold is and we meet them at it.

So that's a major issue. So her threshold level is different. So part of what I learned in investigating this chapter is for us to be so in tune with our partner that we understand what their threshold is and we meet them at it.

I had an incident in my relationship a couple of weeks back, maybe five, six weeks ago, where... I didn't want to apologize because I wasn't sorry. Because I didn't think I did anything wrong. Okay. And I think I am actually quite quick to apologize to my partner. I've apologized this week. I've probably apologized last week for something. But it was a really interesting moment.

I had an incident in my relationship a couple of weeks back, maybe five, six weeks ago, where... I didn't want to apologize because I wasn't sorry. Because I didn't think I did anything wrong. Okay. And I think I am actually quite quick to apologize to my partner. I've apologized this week. I've probably apologized last week for something. But it was a really interesting moment.

We were actually in, like, relationships, counseling therapy or whatever. We've been, since the start of our relationship, been doing this. Good. We've been through, like, three different therapists. Yeah. I looked at the situation objectively and arrived at the conclusion that in the future, I would not have done anything different.

We were actually in, like, relationships, counseling therapy or whatever. We've been, since the start of our relationship, been doing this. Good. We've been through, like, three different therapists. Yeah. I looked at the situation objectively and arrived at the conclusion that in the future, I would not have done anything different.

So I arrived at the conclusion that an apology would actually be disingenuous. Like I would be apologizing for something and probably setting a new standard in our relationship that I know I can't meet in the future. So I explained that and said, I don't want to apologize because I wouldn't mean it in this situation.

So I arrived at the conclusion that an apology would actually be disingenuous. Like I would be apologizing for something and probably setting a new standard in our relationship that I know I can't meet in the future. So I explained that and said, I don't want to apologize because I wouldn't mean it in this situation.

And I wondered whether there's any merit in that. Like, does your apology genuinely have to be sincere or are you just doing it just to keep the peace?

And I wondered whether there's any merit in that. Like, does your apology genuinely have to be sincere or are you just doing it just to keep the peace?

You're doing it only when it's sincere. But how we're doing it is very important. So in the research that I found, only 50% of apologies are actually effective, right? What constitutes an effective apology? There's a system that I've created called ARC, okay? A, acknowledge. Acknowledge what happened.

You're doing it only when it's sincere. But how we're doing it is very important. So in the research that I found, only 50% of apologies are actually effective, right? What constitutes an effective apology? There's a system that I've created called ARC, okay? A, acknowledge. Acknowledge what happened.

So, for example, I am sorry that I interrupted you. Genuinely sorry, right? I'm sorry that I interrupted you. Two is remorseful. And I apologize... for the fact that you may feel undervalued or not listened to as a result. That's the remorse. And then the C is the commitment. And in the future, I'm going to try to pay more attention

So, for example, I am sorry that I interrupted you. Genuinely sorry, right? I'm sorry that I interrupted you. Two is remorseful. And I apologize... for the fact that you may feel undervalued or not listened to as a result. That's the remorse. And then the C is the commitment. And in the future, I'm going to try to pay more attention

when we're having these conversations so that I'm not interrupting you, right? So this is the kind of, you know, what I call arc method. But the idea is to make it effective, is to acknowledge what happened, be remorseful for the emotional impact. That's the key. And that's where I wanted to come with yours. And then C is what's your commitment for the future.

when we're having these conversations so that I'm not interrupting you, right? So this is the kind of, you know, what I call arc method. But the idea is to make it effective, is to acknowledge what happened, be remorseful for the emotional impact. That's the key. And that's where I wanted to come with yours. And then C is what's your commitment for the future.

That makes it a comprehensive apology. So in your situation, perhaps what you did objectively, you would do in the future. But you are remorseful for how it made her feel.

That makes it a comprehensive apology. So in your situation, perhaps what you did objectively, you would do in the future. But you are remorseful for how it made her feel.

So I'll give you some context. I was basically working on something very, very important. I was going through it and I told her, previously, I'm going to be going through this thing. I need to be working on this thing. It's very, very important. She knew every single detail of this project I was working on. She knew the deadline. She knew the significance of it. Profound.

So I'll give you some context. I was basically working on something very, very important. I was going through it and I told her, previously, I'm going to be going through this thing. I need to be working on this thing. It's very, very important. She knew every single detail of this project I was working on. She knew the deadline. She knew the significance of it. Profound.