Paul Brunson

Date 67 was physically beautiful. Now, date 101 is going to be compared to all previous dates on all of those factors. And you're always going to find something... that is less good, at least one factor that is less good than someone you date previously. And I've always wondered, are you like accidentally expanding your comparison set by meeting more and more and more and more and more people?

Date 67 was physically beautiful. Now, date 101 is going to be compared to all previous dates on all of those factors. And you're always going to find something... that is less good, at least one factor that is less good than someone you date previously. And I've always wondered, are you like accidentally expanding your comparison set by meeting more and more and more and more and more people?

So I think this reads to Barry Swartz's work with the Paradox of Choice, where, you know, what Barry Swartz did with the Paradox of Choice, which is brilliant, is that when we're presented with more options, which is in essence all of these dates,

So I think this reads to Barry Swartz's work with the Paradox of Choice, where, you know, what Barry Swartz did with the Paradox of Choice, which is brilliant, is that when we're presented with more options, which is in essence all of these dates,

When we choose one, we have a less level of satisfaction with the choice because we saw that we had 100 choices versus if you have three choices and you have to choose between one of those three, there's going to be a higher level of satisfaction as a result. A real-life example is my grandmother. So my grandmother grew up in, I say, the bush in the bush in Jamaica, okay?

When we choose one, we have a less level of satisfaction with the choice because we saw that we had 100 choices versus if you have three choices and you have to choose between one of those three, there's going to be a higher level of satisfaction as a result. A real-life example is my grandmother. So my grandmother grew up in, I say, the bush in the bush in Jamaica, okay?

Super, super small town in Jamaica. My grandmother literally had five or six options as a partner. Now, as a result of my grandmother having those options, when she chooses one person, there's going to be more value, more emphasis, even more if you look at the investment theory, more investment placed in one of those options versus if she had 100 options and she makes a choice.

Super, super small town in Jamaica. My grandmother literally had five or six options as a partner. Now, as a result of my grandmother having those options, when she chooses one person, there's going to be more value, more emphasis, even more if you look at the investment theory, more investment placed in one of those options versus if she had 100 options and she makes a choice.

That choice with 100 options becomes more disposable, right? So... This is one issue that we have in terms of giving ourselves so many options. The other challenge with this is when you watch people date, they typically date the same person. You know, it's typically the same characteristics, even physically, you know, the same.

That choice with 100 options becomes more disposable, right? So... This is one issue that we have in terms of giving ourselves so many options. The other challenge with this is when you watch people date, they typically date the same person. You know, it's typically the same characteristics, even physically, you know, the same.

I argue that some of the greatest value that we can receive in the dating market, if you wanna look at it as a dating market, is to take ourselves out of our market, if you will, and put yourself in someplace different, right? I call this the premium effect. So an example of this is I had a friend who was a white woman, roughly 35 years old, who lived in northern London.

I argue that some of the greatest value that we can receive in the dating market, if you wanna look at it as a dating market, is to take ourselves out of our market, if you will, and put yourself in someplace different, right? I call this the premium effect. So an example of this is I had a friend who was a white woman, roughly 35 years old, who lived in northern London.

And she was like, Paul, I'm dating all these guys. I can't find the right one, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I said, look, look, you love art, don't you? She said, yeah, I love art. I said, all right, I want you to take yourself down to the Black Cultural Archives in Brixton. And I want you to go to this exhibit that they're having. And she was like, Brixton? I said, yeah, Brixton.

And she was like, Paul, I'm dating all these guys. I can't find the right one, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I said, look, look, you love art, don't you? She said, yeah, I love art. I said, all right, I want you to take yourself down to the Black Cultural Archives in Brixton. And I want you to go to this exhibit that they're having. And she was like, Brixton? I said, yeah, Brixton.

Brixton is cool. I go there all the time, right? I want you to go there. Now, why did I ask her to go? I asked her to go because the moment that she goes, characteristically, she's not going to look the same. These are mostly going to be Black men and women, perhaps even a little bit younger than she is. different culturally, right?

Brixton is cool. I go there all the time, right? I want you to go there. Now, why did I ask her to go? I asked her to go because the moment that she goes, characteristically, she's not going to look the same. These are mostly going to be Black men and women, perhaps even a little bit younger than she is. different culturally, right?

But yet they have the same value in art and their appreciation for creativity, et cetera. The moment that she goes there, what happens? Some people in the room look at her like, what's she doing here? Like, why is she here? Those are the closed-minded people. Carol DeWitt talks about this in her book, Mindset. We have closed-minded, open-minded. Those are the closed-minded.

But yet they have the same value in art and their appreciation for creativity, et cetera. The moment that she goes there, what happens? Some people in the room look at her like, what's she doing here? Like, why is she here? Those are the closed-minded people. Carol DeWitt talks about this in her book, Mindset. We have closed-minded, open-minded. Those are the closed-minded.

But how do the open-minded react to my friend? They lean in. What are you doing here? And they're curious and they engage. And all of a sudden, she opens her network to a whole new group of people. Some of those could be romantic interests. Some of those could be platonic. They could be friends.

But how do the open-minded react to my friend? They lean in. What are you doing here? And they're curious and they engage. And all of a sudden, she opens her network to a whole new group of people. Some of those could be romantic interests. Some of those could be platonic. They could be friends.