Paul C. Brunson

And if we just could figure out who they are and segregate them, then we'd be fine.

That's not how it works.

Like human emotional complexity, the line of good and evil runs through the human heart and you have to cut out a piece of your heart if you want to get rid of evil.

There is evil in me, there is darkness in me, there is selfishness in me, just like there is in all of us.

And part of marriage, I believe, the most beautiful part of marriage at its best,

is you're not deluding yourself into thinking that I'm perfect and I'm good.

You're looking at me and going, there's beauty in you, and kindness in you, and there's weakness in you, and there's frailty in you, and there's short-sightedness and selfishness in you, and there's empathy and compassion in you, and I want all of that.

Yeah.

So I think the first step is always identifying what it is that you want and then identifying how you've been sharing that with your partner.

And how do we do that?

I genuinely believe it's really easy.

It's really, really easy.

Just keep checking in.

Keep checking in.

Make it a habit.

Make it a practice, not a bug.

Make it a feature.

Think about what would happen in a relationship if from the day you got married, you said every Saturday,

we're gonna spend 10 minutes.

And if we're apart, we'll do it via email.