Paul Conti

Because you got to get at those things so that one can begin to bring

into focus, what does the trauma mean and what does it not mean?

I mean, a classic example is the, what would you say to someone else example?

You know, you'll say, well, I, how many times have I, it's just, I could cry if I stop and think about it enough.

You have to stop and talk to someone who is sexually assaulted through no fault of their own, who comes in and tells the story they've been telling themselves about how it's their fault.

They should have walked home a different way.

They should have dressed differently.

They should have left earlier, right?

I wrote about it in the book over and over and over.

Now, you have a person who, let's say you take a person who's intelligent, engaged in the world, who's capable of understanding lots and lots and lots of things, but doesn't understand that, right?

If it were someone else, that person would understand in a moment.

That's not that person's fault, right?

So what you want to do is overcome the fact that the negative emotions, the hijacked emotion systems of trauma are telling that person a lie, and they're telling them so strongly and so

so meanly that the person just takes it inside and starts to see it as true, right?

So you begin to hold that up to the light of day.

And again, one example could be, okay, so someone, the person who's coming in next has actually been through something similar, right?

And do you mind, can you stay and just tell her how it's her fault, right?

And like, oh my God, no, because I could never, like then they see, right?

And again, this is not always how you do it, but sometimes you can get a person to see like, well, that would be the most horrible thing

How could you do that?