Paul Eastwick

speaker

1,562 appearances 7 recordings 3 series first heard Feb 2026 last heard 24 May

Paul Eastwick’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 7 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 3.

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Sonia and Simon · Why Your “Type” Is Ruining Your Love Life | Paul Eastwick · 24 May 2026 podcast

But those bonds are essential because we really feel like we need to belong.

We need to belong to a group and we need to have close others within that group who we feel like they have got our back.

That is often goes hand in hand with romantic and sexual connections.

But it does not have to.

You can have that sense of need to belong met through somebody that is not a sexual connection.

And in principle, it is possible, although hard, but possible to have an ongoing sexual relationship with somebody without feeling

feeling that sense of bondedness and that sense of connection and without having that threaten any other bonded sexual relationships you might have.

So it's a challenging thing to do.

I don't think people are giving up their bonds anytime soon, but might people give up the norm that you only have sex with one person and that that doesn't have to destroy the attachments that you might have with somebody by having sex with somebody else?

I do think some people are better able to navigate that these days.

Yeah.

So, I mean, I got into this because I discovered evolutionary psychology in the 90s.

And this was the era where evolutionary psychology kind of became synonymous with men and women are really different and they're really ruthless and they're always trying to like trade up on each other.

And infidelity is a natural consequence of the inevitable search for better and better partners.

And I thought, oh, this is really exciting that we can use insights from the deep past to inform how we behave in the present.

I like this evolutionary lens.

And then I also felt like, God, this sounds terrible.

This is this is what it's like.

And I think as I got a little older and I started to have experiences that weren't so terrible in the dating realm,

I started to think, I think these evolutionary approaches have missed something.

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