Paul Eastwick

Yeah.

I'll have to ask her when I want to have nightmares for the next 20 years.

Right.

There you go.

So maybe don't.

But even in that case.

I think she still genuinely thinks that you're basically in the same category and that even if this guy came along, you have so many other things going for you.

This is how people tend to think about romantic partners when their relationships are going well.

I want to point out, too, that this explains where relationships go badly as well, because some of that is motivated reasoning, too.

you're not actually being a dick to your partner.

The various ways that you were once connecting, you're not connecting anymore.

And now we start seeing and amplifying all this negativity.

It can go in the other direction too, but so much of it is in our subjective perceptions.

Yeah.

So this is an important point.

And you do see major cultural differences in, you know, how common it is arranged marriages, marriages where there's going to be a lot of parental involvement versus what we often call love marriages in contrast.

Like, oh, people get to freely decide.

But here's a key point.

I think when we think about arranged marriages, we think about the form that you just described, but that's actually not the most common way that it happens in

it's usually, you can think about it like intense parental involvement.