Paul Eastwick

So in person, you're talking about not on a chat line in person, not even on a chat line.

It's this radical idea where people would get together often over a shared activity or interest.

On multiple occasions.

And look, in school context, workplace context, sometimes friends and acquaintances just get together because it's fun.

And so to the extent that people once had networks like these and they have let them atrophy.

And this has happened at all ages.

It is true that the young folks today, high schoolers, they're not going out and hanging out in person as much as prior generations did.

But this is true for the rest of us as well.

We're not hanging out in person to the same extent.

If you are dating, there is real wisdom in looking up what is in your area that is an intramural sports league, an improv class, a cooking class, any kind of class you might want to take, any kind of interest, where – and this is important –

You would get to interact with the same people on multiple occasions because that is an environment that pulls for less of this market-based winner-take-all, the hot people dominate, all the right swipes.

Because when we get to know each other in person, we start disagreeing about who we'd want to date.

And for many of us, that's a good thing.

That means that somebody is going to think you're especially desirable in that smaller group if you give them enough time.

Yes.

I mean, we I it's like it seems so obvious.

And yet I think we still underestimate it.

The pull of proximity.

I mean, this is a study that I love citing.

It was conducted several years ago, but it showed that if somebody is randomly assigned to sit next to you in a classroom, you are 20 times more likely to be friends with that person than anybody else in that same classroom.