Philippa Perry

But it's not so much doing it that's damaging, I think, as what you're not doing when your hours are eaten up with that, what you are missing out on.

And it might be missing out on real contact with real people.

Yeah.

Yeah, don't have arguments with those people in your head over and over again.

Yeah, we have got a choice.

And I think if you put an hour a week to one side to notice how you're thinking, notice how that makes you feel, deciding what you want to do and practising that.

It is a form of therapy and you can do it with friends.

You know, you don't have to have a qualified therapist to do it.

It will help if you have my book, How to Stay Sane by Philippa Perry, because there are exercises that help you do self-therapy in that book.

You know, that would help.

You know, that is the work there, is finding a therapist that works.

I had three before I found one that really worked.

Isn't it great how talking about shame makes it go away?

It's mad.

Shame really loves silence, really loves isolation.

After working at the Samaritans for a number of years, shame is probably the number one thing that makes people want to disappear themselves because it's unbearable and they think they're unbearable and they think they're unacceptable.

But talking about it and having someone on the end of the phone going...

Oh, yeah, I can understand why that felt like a good coping mechanism or whatever it was.

Yeah, well, that makes sense that you did that.

That worked for you for a while.