Professor Katriona O'Sullivan

You're never going to be good.

Like loud, loud.

Did you answer yourself back?

No.

I do now.

I do too now yeah right one of the reasons I'm here is because I was taught that like in the Rutland Centre right the best gift one of the best gifts that they gave me was affirmations every single day like Ray I'm up in my mirror upstairs I have a little dot I have little dots everywhere that remind me to to argue back with myself you know about the way I look or you know you know look at the state of your face you're

Beautiful.

What are you talking about?

Constantly the trying to the pathways re but used to be just a monologue.

And it was so loud that I oftentimes couldn't hear anything else.

It was just you're a failure.

You're a failure and they can all see it.

They can all see what you are.

And so I'd be on guard all the time.

But also, Ray, like when you're so hurt.

I was so sensitive to any criticism, like any tiny little indicator that someone seen, I'd explode.

And so, yeah, I wasn't a very, I was a very angry, angry person.

And I don't know, I was angry definitely at my mum.

I've always been angry at my mum.

I've always known that she should have loved me.