Professor Katriona O'Sullivan

I've always knew that I...

deserved better from her being angry with my dad was much harder because he controlled me a lot and he did love me sometimes and he would threaten taking that love away so i was angry at my mom i knew that she was bad or she'd done bad to me and i was angry for years but i don't know i was just angry i was angry for a long time and how do you get rid of that anger is it through forgiveness or what

I think understanding is the first thing myself.

So like the forgiveness for myself, but first before forgiveness is understanding.

Like one of the consequences I think for me and for people like me is like really black and white thinking, like really like inability to be, have flexible thoughts about information or about ourselves.

Like,

I never got an education, so I wasn't taught to think critically about information.

So I was like, I'm bad.

I failed.

So like first thing was learning about myself and why I was the way I was and finding an ability to understand myself and why I made the choices I did and why things happened to me.

So that was the first thing I think before forgiveness.

And like forgiveness is something I think it's transient.

Like I don't actually think you just get to a point of forgiveness.

Like I have to work still on forgiveness of myself.

It's a it's like a muscle that I work on.

I don't believe that you just go.

I've forgiven you now.

Like Dave did things to me five years ago.

I'm lying in bed and I go, remember that thing you did to me five years ago?

You know, like I still have to kind of work on forgiving myself and my parents particularly.