Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz

So if the name is any common name nowadays, sounds from the simple reading of the Shulchan Aruch that it's going to be a problem to call your spouse by that name.

The Drisha is quoted by the Shach and Sivkat and Gimel.

He says, no, no, in order to be Asr, it needs to be an unusual name and in front of the father.

If either one of those is not present, then it's going to be mutter.

So it's the opposite extreme.

Khayy Adam writes that in order to be Asr, it needs to be Hashem Pali and also in front of the father.

However, Rav Moshe says that things have changed nowadays.

Everybody, no one calls their father by the name.

who calls their father dad or Abba or Tati or something like that so even the Ramah would say that a regular name can be called even in front of him if you're calling your spouse no one's going to think that you're calling your father by his first name because nobody does that says the says Rav Moshe

Your father will think you're calling him and other people will think you're calling him.

So if there's no makom litos where no one's going to have that thought so then it's not a problem.

So that's what Rav Moshe writes.

I think the most common practice is

My sister-in-law is a great-granddaughter of Moshe Feinstein.

So I asked my brother, what did Rebetzin Tender call Rabbi Tender?

because Rabbi Tandler was Rabbi Moshe David Tandler and Moshe Feinstein was Rabbi Moshe Feinstein.

So did she call him Moshe in front of... So my brother said by the time he came into the family, Moshe was no longer alive.

So I don't know what she called him in front of Moshe.

But I can tell you that every time I saw them interact, she always called him Moshe.

She didn't call him Moshe, she called him Moshe.