Rachel Bernstein

So just because someone's sitting in the therapist chair doesn't mean you can trust them. Just even though someone has taken on the role of parent doesn't mean you can trust them. And so how do you discern? So that sort of became my thing. And that's why I decided after 30 some odd years of doing this, I was listening to so many people's stories in my office and then on Zoom.

Um, and I thought, you know, I want other people to hear this because these are kind of cautionary tales and hearing how people also broke free. Just how do you champion your own rights when it's hard to figure out who to lean on to like, where does that power come from inside of yourself? And also who is out there who can help? And, and so understanding kind of what it, what is true about our,

Um, and I thought, you know, I want other people to hear this because these are kind of cautionary tales and hearing how people also broke free. Just how do you champion your own rights when it's hard to figure out who to lean on to like, where does that power come from inside of yourself? And also who is out there who can help? And, and so understanding kind of what it, what is true about our,

Um, and I thought, you know, I want other people to hear this because these are kind of cautionary tales and hearing how people also broke free. Just how do you champion your own rights when it's hard to figure out who to lean on to like, where does that power come from inside of yourself? And also who is out there who can help? And, and so understanding kind of what it, what is true about our,

natures as human beings. Like you and I can say, we know a lot about manipulation and control and coercion, but we have this internal locus of control that would stop us from using it against someone. Instead, we use it to teach and to prevent and which is a very different trajectory. And other people would say, oh, look, I have this knowledge. I have this skill.

natures as human beings. Like you and I can say, we know a lot about manipulation and control and coercion, but we have this internal locus of control that would stop us from using it against someone. Instead, we use it to teach and to prevent and which is a very different trajectory. And other people would say, oh, look, I have this knowledge. I have this skill.

natures as human beings. Like you and I can say, we know a lot about manipulation and control and coercion, but we have this internal locus of control that would stop us from using it against someone. Instead, we use it to teach and to prevent and which is a very different trajectory. And other people would say, oh, look, I have this knowledge. I have this skill.

Let me use it for my own gain, which is a very different kind of personality and very scary.

Let me use it for my own gain, which is a very different kind of personality and very scary.

Let me use it for my own gain, which is a very different kind of personality and very scary.

So it was a class instructing people who were studying to become therapists about ways to run support groups. You walk into a room, the professor is there, and there is a circle of chairs as though it's a support group. And we all sat down and we were told to share about ourselves. So people started sharing and it was fascinating. In the first class, there was already a hierarchy.

So it was a class instructing people who were studying to become therapists about ways to run support groups. You walk into a room, the professor is there, and there is a circle of chairs as though it's a support group. And we all sat down and we were told to share about ourselves. So people started sharing and it was fascinating. In the first class, there was already a hierarchy.

So it was a class instructing people who were studying to become therapists about ways to run support groups. You walk into a room, the professor is there, and there is a circle of chairs as though it's a support group. And we all sat down and we were told to share about ourselves. So people started sharing and it was fascinating. In the first class, there was already a hierarchy.

There was already the more liked group. the people who had shared more, the people who had more tragedy, the people who had more trauma, the people who revealed more about themselves, they were more liked. And that came through with smiles. And the teacher actually got up and hugged a few people after they shared. And two of the people, she said she couldn't hear them speaking all that clearly.

There was already the more liked group. the people who had shared more, the people who had more tragedy, the people who had more trauma, the people who revealed more about themselves, they were more liked. And that came through with smiles. And the teacher actually got up and hugged a few people after they shared. And two of the people, she said she couldn't hear them speaking all that clearly.

There was already the more liked group. the people who had shared more, the people who had more tragedy, the people who had more trauma, the people who revealed more about themselves, they were more liked. And that came through with smiles. And the teacher actually got up and hugged a few people after they shared. And two of the people, she said she couldn't hear them speaking all that clearly.

Could they move closer? So they got a seat next to her. And then you could see the next class, people who needed that, who needed to be like at the cool kids table or who just needed that affirmation or needed that. her to be this parent, because she was older than other people in the room by and large.

Could they move closer? So they got a seat next to her. And then you could see the next class, people who needed that, who needed to be like at the cool kids table or who just needed that affirmation or needed that. her to be this parent, because she was older than other people in the room by and large.

Could they move closer? So they got a seat next to her. And then you could see the next class, people who needed that, who needed to be like at the cool kids table or who just needed that affirmation or needed that. her to be this parent, because she was older than other people in the room by and large.

She started taking people out for coffee, but only the people who had shared, only the people who had something that really was a trauma of some sort. And there were people who I could see their eyes trailing off as they were telling a story. And then their eyes would come back into the room and they would look to see if she was engaged in what they were saying.