Rachel Botsman
speaker
139 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Rachel Botsman’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Think of the last time you made a poor or very bad trust decision at work. Did you blame it on the character of the other person? They turned out to be unreliable, incompetent, dishonest, or you fill in the blank. Someone's character plays a critical role, but what we often overlook is the importance of having the right information.
As the social scientist Diego Gambetta puts it, trust has two enemies, not one. Bad character and poor information. So the next time you find yourself making an important trust decision, I'd recommend asking yourself these three questions. One, what trust signals am I tuning into? Two, am I trusting this person out of convenience? And three, am I making this trust decision too quickly?
Now, let's look at something else that influences what trust signals we pay attention to. Our gut. My dad's gut told him that a nanny who seemed bland was a safe one. His gut told him that blandness was a good trust signal. But our gut feeling or intuition is rarely the source of trustworthy decisions.
For Maria Konnikova, the expert in distrust, there's a common saying about this that's a real pet peeve.
So let me share with you something from my research that has made me think differently about the role of gut feeling in giving trust. Gut feeling is not the decision maker, but a decision driver. So use your intuition, but challenge it with other information to make sure it's accurate. Here's how this might come up in your job.
When you're thinking about how to have a difficult conversation with a colleague, or when you're taking a brief from a potential client and you're not entirely sure what they do. And of course, when you're hiring someone new, don't let your gut make the trust decision.
Instead of making important trust decisions in seconds, Maria recommends going by the old mantra that former President Ronald Reagan was so fond of, trust but verify.
Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman's definition of a gut feeling is spot on. He says a gut feeling is thinking that you know without knowing why you do. Even though I've studied the ins and outs of trust for over a decade, I have still gone with my gut countless times. Sometimes things have gone right and other times things have gone horribly wrong.
So let me share with you a useful tool that will help you better read trust signals. It's called a trust pause. A trust pause is a healthy hesitation where we question if a person, a product, or a piece of information is worthy of our trust. If you find yourself wanting to make a trust decision quickly from your gut, take a trust pause and ask yourself the following questions.
Where is this confidence coming from? Am I seeing or hearing something I want or need to believe to be true? Is it because this person feels familiar or similar to me? And a really important question. What information do I still need to make a reliable decision? When you put these questions into practice, they will intentionally slow you down.
Now, I know that in a world that's so driven by efficiency, this might sound counterintuitive, but speed can be the enemy of trust. I'm not suggesting you overthink every single trust decision. I mean, you'd never leave the house. But if it's something important, take a trust pause.
For example, if you have some sensitive or confidential information to share with your boss, take a trust pause before speaking to them. If you're going for a new role in an organization, take a trust pause to speak to someone in a similar position. If you're starting an important contract with a new supplier, take a trust pause to speak to some other customers. Are you sure? Are you sure?
That's at the heart of a trust pause. It might feel like you're wasting valuable time, but otherwise you may be left wondering why you didn't pause for a bit longer before giving your trust. Because once trust has been given, it's in the other person's hands to take care of or break. My dad could have taken a trust pause with Doris and it would have saved a lot of anguish and his Volvo.
Of course, there are regrets, but after everything, it hasn't really changed my dad. He just tends to trust people.
Some people trust too much and too readily, like my dad. They have what psychologists call a high propensity to trust. They assume they won't be taken advantage of.
Here's something else Maria helped me rethink. The existence of con artists like Doris actually says something very good about humanity. That may sound strange, but the only reason they succeed is because as people, for the most part, we are trusting.
As the late master magician Ricky Jay once said, you wouldn't want to live in a world where you couldn't be conned because it would mean you're living in a world where you never trusted anyone or anything.
There's no one size fits all approach to trust giving. Ultimately, trust is a choice. It's yours to give or not give. So let's just recap the four main ideas about giving trust that you can now put into practice. One, be aware of the trust signals you're tuning into by remembering that we tend to trust what's familiar. Two, recognize when you're allowing convenience to trump trust.
Three, reframe your gut feeling as a decision driver, not the decision maker. And finally, four, speed can be the enemy of trust. So take a trust pause to get the right information. I'm going to leave you with a question to think about as we head into chapter two. How do you get someone else to trust you?
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