Ray D'Arcy

It's about 10 years old now.

And it was a collection of columns, but you wrote then about 40 pages at the beginning, which is biographical.

which said an awful lot about you.

But you were talking about your teenage years and the various people you hung around with and they tended to be, in your eyes, better looking than you.

Like there was a girl called Marie and you said that, you know, the more she was adored, the more I was ignored.

Yeah.

It's a nice little phraseology.

It's not very good.

This is now, we're drilling deep now because there was another traumatic event when you're around 11 on holidays in Fenor.

Yeah.

And I'll say it so you don't have to say it.

So there was a family friend and you wanted to go swimming and probably it was, you were encouraging everybody to go swimming, eventually you did and the poor guy died and you then took on as an 11 year old a bit of that blame.

You know, it's probably bigger.

And then how do you cope with that as an 11-year-old into your teenage years?

And maybe part of the coping mechanism was to hide in the shadow of these bigger figures.

I don't know.

Was that ever present in your head, was it?

But isn't it ghastly, we can figure these things out.

And I read that book by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey.

I think it's called What Happened to You?