Reb Masel

The Mormons moved on to native land and were like penis shaped scar. Someone in your fucking family. Someone. Yeah. Yeah.

150 years ago when we were not in our own business in the fucking American West. And that's fair. So the NFL was telling you basically, listen, girl, this is the worst that could happen to you.

Are you telling me you're one?

so he's too much yeah fair my boyfriend tore his mcl acl playing dod literally playing like a company dodgeball game he like slid he slid home a little too fucking hard and i and i'm like i heard i was like Oh, where'd you go? You know, because, of course, I see that fat fucking scar, you know, and I'm thinking, oh, you know, here's the story of like I would have gone pro type shit.

And then we were still in that stage where I was like side. You know, he's still proving himself out of prison. I was like, oh, so what's your what's your deal? He was like, no, I went too fucking hard. And then I drank White Claws. for about an hour and a half after just sitting there by the cooler. And he had to carry me to my car. And I went to the hospital.

I'm like, oh, that's embarrassing as fuck. He's like, yeah, super embarrassing.

At a company dodgeball game. And I know a guy, I mean, and law firms too. We, I mean, people are like, you know, law firms, you imagine everyone's super, which they are, but people, what you imagine, right, is like, you know, a bunch of white dudes in a room in suits jerking each other off, which is super fair. Like that does for sure happen. That's part of it. Right, that's part of it.

But, I mean, people work hard. Being a lawyer is working hard and playing so much fucking harder. Like, we had every single firm I ever worked at keg in the conference room. Multiple kegs, rotating tap. We'd get an email every Monday. This week, it's an IPA. This week, it's space stuff.

Oh, yeah. But also, people, I mean, alcoholists. Like, alcoholism, drug abuse. Like, you know, I remember the first day of our law school orientation. They, you know, were like, yeah. yay, congrats, everyone. You've made it, right? They're like, yeah, no, look how smart all of you are. We're so happy you're here. Here's a big slideshow. Like, you guys literally are the shit.

You're like the top whatever percent of the world. You're better than everyone. Next slide. You know what you're also number one at? Alcoholism, divorce, drug addiction, abuse, anxiety, da-da-da, just listing all, suicide, like listing all the things that happen to lawyers because it's a super hard job. And then slide after that was, so we have therapy dogs.

i was like oh perfect yeah that'll fix that sandwich it yeah that'll do it but you know um one of the so basically we have happy hours like three times a week i'm like i'm like i can't fucking do this shit i can't i have never i faked more shots at legal events lawyer events than i did in college and that's a fact i'm throwing shit into planners with like old white men who were like let's take tequila shots and one guy at our softball it was like it's supposed to be like a friendly like

fundraiser softball thing on a sunday broke his entire leg when i tell you broke his fucking femur you know how hard it is to break your femur yeah that's really fucking hard yeah really fucking unless you're with me yeah i got a bigger bum yep listen really fucking hard that's why you're a lawyer and i do that and you do this and it works out fucking perfectly there you go okay if i need someone curb stomped i'm bringing my shoe in your leg that's all i'm talking about listen

Yeah, no, it makes no sense because I feel like almost the exact opposite was kind of pitched to us through law school lawyering, whatever. You don't want to sound like a woman. The moment it comes out of a woman's mouth, no one's going to believe it. All for the same reasons, which is misogyny. Yeah, I mean, listen, look and listen. And I think my voice...

We'll get the job done.

Yeah, broken leg. And it's softball? And it was a softball game. And he lost, which I'm like, come on. You know what I mean? If you're going to go down swinging, at least.

MCL, whichever. I didn't really listen to it enough to give a fuck.

Again, generational curse shit.

I'm telling you.

Listen, the Mormons moved on to native land and were like penis shaped scar. Someone in your fucking family.

Yeah. Yeah. Have fun with that. Have fun with that bitch.

I know, right? Big. It's crazy. That man. And that's the thing too, is I'm like, y'all are over here i'm the amount of dms that i have from men all the time right who would do anything to suck my toe yeah are still in the same vein being like well how could a man ever be okay with like your present i'm like yeah no there are men out there who are stable and normal and who

who literally are my biggest fucking, he is my biggest fucking fan, and that's saying a lot, because some of my fans are fucking insane. He will tell me things I said in a video or on a podcast that I'm like, I don't even remember that shit, and he's over here quoting it to people. He's sending people links.

He couldn't be more jazzed about the whole thing. I saw your video about the, what was it? He made me a connections game.

He has to go into a SCIF, S-C-I-F, like a high security, basically like a black box. You can't even bring AirPods into those. It's very tight.

So you can't have your phone in there, anything. And so he can't text me during the day at work. So he would email me connections games that he made. And everyone immediately was like, so you're dating a cop? I'm like, have you met me? I'm like, in what fucking universe? I'm like, a cop? Baby, no. Like, absolutely not. Cops aren't smart enough to do that. Not smart enough to do that.

And also, also, also, the idea that a cop wouldn't be allowed to be on the phone. Baby, if they couldn't be on their phone, who's going to be texting nurses and playing fucking Wordle or whatever the fuck all day? Like, no, those men are on their fucking phone grabbing their vests, not doing anything.

Yeah, taking four hours to pull up to a burglary to say, I don't know how to tell you.

got deeper just out of probably spite too because i like oh i'm sure i like making men uncomfortable and when i'm taller and my voice is deeper that's a crazy one to punch in a courtroom that's wild for them to have to face right crazy town and then they're going home to a divorce and a kid who hasn't spoken to them in two months i'm like yeah that's just the circle yeah so if i'm gonna talk like this then i'm gonna talk like this if that makes them pissed but your voice is higher in your old ones yeah

it's always like a a game of assumptions after that it's like well it's probably because well it's probably just to like undermine it because it makes them feel some type of way so i was curious i figured you get shit like that too oh yeah that's why i never i mean that's the first time that i'd ever even commented about your relationship yeah relationships because i've dated i mean i have stories yeah i have stories i've dated men through this whole tiktok you know for the

Who I could and I know every day they wake up in a cold fucking sweat thinking this is the day she's going to drop a part 50 part series. Yeah. Shit. Right. I've dated I dated like a semi famous currently unemployed because we love that actor who was not talented at all. But God he was rich. Listen, I was a victim.

Man did he have money. Man was his dad.

Yeah, man did his dad die.

You hit that shit so hard. Nice work. And he, yeah, and I, he did crazy shit to me, whatever. And you go through my TikTok story that time, never would have known. And I want to keep, I like to keep it that way because people, again, they get so loud about everything they know nothing about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is nice when you share little things like that.

Like, oh, no, they just unconditionally are obsessed with me or you, right? No, they just know how to do this. And no, they're not trying to get anything out of me. They simply want me to be happy. Imagine that.

Yeah.

Thank you so much. That's the thing, too, is what pisses me off is the fact that my block list looks like the January 6th attendance sheet.

It pisses me off because after a while, right, after a while, they stopped coming in. Like, I don't get hate comments really anymore, and I miss them. I miss them a lot because I'm like, man, I want y'all to pull up because it was kind of fun. We made such a great team.

Yeah, I'm like, we made such a great team. And I also, I tell people to this day, I'm like, to this day, I have not read a comment that has actually got, like, that has really gotten to me. All of it is, like, I've heard worse things from better men.

always right um and i'm a lawyer you don't think i've heard this shit from my own fucking client like you don't think that i've heard the crazy shit exactly and i so i always am hoping to be proven wrong one day like to open up a come and go you know what they got me guys yeah they got me girl yeah i i've only said the one that i've gotten and it was a random barb stan account on twitter so i know it wasn't a straight man i'll tell you that right fucking now i know that for a fact

I'm like, you're taking shit from me too. And also taking shit from probably a gay person.

You can't even do anything.

oh my god the comments acting like that was the funniest thing they've ever seen in their lives i'm like you and they're it's all an act it's always crazy how it's such an echo chamber because most of those people who think that shit is funny after it's like no i was making fun of my you didn't yeah yeah you're not in on the joke with assholes and the person who told the joke is probably like give me a yeah give me a cut of that revenue the fuck like are you joking

But it's like they're all all of you are samples like all of you are just copies of one another screaming at one another. And I've heard and also like in the comment section, not a single drag that's funny after that. On top of that, it was it's just nope. The one drag that you stole from me that I told you about. None of you can come up with anything better.

Yeah, just circle jerking in here. And I'm like, I've heard literally better roasts from a 12-year-old girl in fourth grade, like, running a fucking clay volcano project.

Like, they could probably drag me harder.

Yeah. That's how it sounds. I hate it. I'm like this. I'm like, how the fuck did y'all follow me? This is not ASMR. Y'all are like do an audio book. Not with that. No chance.

yes people who actually love me have been meaner to me than that yeah um which is crazy my husband ethan i said something rude i think like to him we were out or something and he looked at me looked down slowly and said bold thing to say in an open toe shoe

Well, like I'll do it for money too, but like, fuck, you know what I mean?

Yeah, it's going to be called The Book They Throw At You, which is essentially me, a sarcastic lawyer's guide to the unholy chaos of the legal field, which is basically, you know, I want to I almost I want to say it's like chicken soup for the soul, but but like not like that. No, that's great. It's not going to really make you feel... Well, it's going to make you laugh. That's for fucking sure.

But it's also going to just... And a combination of just teaching you just the baseline of what I think every K-12 kid should know about their Miranda rights and interacting with police and all of that. And also just the craziness that is the legal field and the funny stories that... Exactly what I tell on my podcast or on...

My tick tock and crazy cases, but it's kind of all lumped together in sections that make sense, you know, like the same as chicken soup for the soul. How it's like there's a section on death and it's like all these great inspirational stories. It's the same thing. There's a section on death, except it's about, you know, a farmer who had a had a.

Like everything horrible, I think Kay said this in your last episode, you know, shitty life circumstance. The most stressed ever been in my life. The most physically and mentally ill. And then my little sister bullying me, which, you know, always makes me do something. She's like, you need to get on TikTok, right?

tractor run over him and then he wrote in blood his will on the side that said all to my wife love cecil if he wanted to he would um and how that was a valid will they like ripped the fender off and like went and put it into court and they were like yeah valid will um another like some some some anecdotes about being a woman in the in this field and how it is navigating that and the types of harassment yeah that i that we've had to deal with um but yeah so overall it's

Yeah. And people think I mean, I understand why, because I didn't really know any of this either before I got into the field. But I'm like, no, like regular people are in the law more than like the stuck up lawyers. Who do you represent? Yeah. Who do you think's filing all these lawsuits? Who do you think is, you know, being accused of these crimes, whatever?

Like, of course, people are going to say the most correct. The craziest shit, craziest shit in court. And of course, the craziest shit's going to fucking happen.

Like, I mean, people, what's like a crazy case that you've experienced or been on? I'm like, I mean, do you have four hours? Like every day I encounter someone. I mean, there was a case where a woman, a girl, I mean, she was in her 20s, but she, God, I, Loki kind of loved her. Yeah. She grave robbed her own mother to prove a point.

nice which i can respect in in certain ways right and i was at the point where i was like this vengeance goes past exactly she was like no the ring that i was supposed to get in the will is the one that looked like mom's and mom's was buried with hers and we never got a photo of it and no one fucking believes me everyone's gaslighting me about what this fucking ring looks like so when she pulled up with it in court we were like

Where'd you get that exact replica? Where did you get that? Actually, she was like, I just got it. Right. What do you want? And then we found out, you know?

No, she she grave robbed the fuck out of her mom. Would she know what if her mom raised her to be petty? I would if I thought were me, if I was the mom, I'd be like, you know what? Yeah, you did. You you weren't out of that fucking.

Yeah. And yeah, I mean, it's good. It's a lot of a lot of research because a lot of things I mean, listen, I don't talk about things. I kind of as a rule that I don't really think I created in my head to stand on some moral high ground because maybe I'll go low. Right. I'll go lower than you. That's for sure. But as a lawyer, just like ingrained and taught like, yeah, you don't make an argument.

I remember in early days, early days, love the video that I posted that was like the viral one for lawyer related things as I was in my lawyer fit outfit, whatever. And I made a tick tock and a bunch of the comment, you know, I have the comments were like, oh, my God. Yay. You know, a girl is in law. We're here.

You can't back up with something. You don't you don't state a conclusion. You don't you don't state an opinion unless you have something to back it up or else you don't have an opinion at all. And so when I talk about something online, I know what I'm fucking talking about. And in the book, I hold myself to the same principle.

And so when I'm talking about going really in-depth into all of these cases, craziest fucking cases,

uh i want to be right and i want to be on it uh and so that's it's just hours upon hours of me having to research and stuff it's like 3 a.m nights honestly yeah all these people are like how did you have time to write a book how do you handle it i'm like i don't i'm ill i'm physically ill i pounded two you said i'll let you know when i come on the out on the other side i'll let you know

And when I start aging one day like milk right now, not so much. But look at the color of my skin one day. It's going to all go south.

Yeah. Rebuttal podcast. My name is Rev Maisel. Cute. And it's the same. It's honestly like the same kind of the same kind of thing as the book. But the book very much.

is if you like my podcast you'll love the book uh where each episode i talk about a case or a legal concept or a situation that i think deserves people's attention because it's just fucking crazy or hilarious or whatever and i listened to true crime podcasts before it's like i've heard about jeffrey dahmer a hundred times i've heard about the same cases a hundred times and yeah they're super interesting but like the murder cases are the least interesting in the law everyone knows that the family law cases are where shit gets fucking crazy

like family lawyers get jumped they get like attempted like tried to kill and also the things that go on in them are crazy like you find out like you find out that like a husband and wife are related yeah during a paternity test like when shit like that starts happening it's crazy then people start it's like a real skeleton yeah it's real like you think you have skeletons in your closet right murdered somebody i wish it were that simple like oh

Oh, my God. Family lawyer clients are like, oh, you killed who? Thank God. Is it just that? Oh, my God. God bless. You know what I mean? Thank God you're not inbred for the last three generations. And now we've got to figure out the custody of your cat that your husband fucked last weekend. Swear to God. Crazy as shit. And it's always the... Not always, but usually the men.

Usually the men who are doing the crazy shit. Usually the men who are... The deadbeat. You know, I made a joke during my podcast because I don't always pick out like family law cases. Sometimes there are cases of just a witness protection case. It's just like crazy shit that happens. And through the telling of the story, it's like I just joke.

I'm like, at this point, this is the deadbeat dad chronicles because every fucking man involved in these cases was a deadbeat dad. Like, you know, instead of just divorcing their wife or breaking up with their girlfriend. Right.

or getting a job because that would be too right they like fake their own death and like go into witness protection or like become a snitch for the mob so they can go into witness protection and bring their girlfriend to witness protection with them right they it's easier yeah literally so much easier yeah and i'm like perfect no yeah 100 they assassinate their political opponent in tennessee because you know their wife was on to them and knew about their girlfriend no like the craziest yeah the craziest things

We've been here.

yeah and then a bunch of men you know boys whoever yelling at me and i started responding to them easily i think one of them said oh you know wouldn't it be it's it would be a travesty if you know a woman judge was the one to decide your fate and i think i responded and said well didn't your mom decide your fate when she decided not to abort you yeah and jury's still out on whether that was the right choice right like i don't know based off this interaction i'm gonna lean towards no i'm gonna lean

Yeah, all of it. How similar is it to Suits? Not even a little, but I watch it for Meghan Markle, bitch. Have you seen her?

It's entertaining as hell.

There was one where it was like a really famous like military doctor or surgeon, like something like that. And he was watching TV.

military like movies or shows where they were doing you know on scene surgeries someone got like a bullet hole through their arm and they're like fixing it and he'd be like not even close like he'd be like okay so they would be dead on the floor like do you watch Law and Order SVU and you're like okay yeah I mean the copaganda I love that but like I love that like I love that show I grew up loving that show and you rewatch it and you go okay maybe Stabler shouldn't have been throwing people through glass walls yeah yeah him beating the shit out of people but then you think but now with the information you have now you're right

maybe he was the most accurate cop right i mean sometimes listen maybe he was doing like what do they call it method acting right honestly but then also it's like i'm like yeah long rescue copaganda for you know like nypd like the cops that you are talking to do never talk to don't talk to cops yeah they're not gonna be stable they're not gonna be benson they're not gonna

They're not going to care. They're not going to give a fuck. No. But one thing that I don't think anyone really took from it is in during the show. Right. They'd always have the first suspect or some shit. Right. And we always knew it wasn't them. It's just too easy. Yeah. And they'd be questioning them, whatever. And they'd lawyer up and they'd be like, ah, damn it. Well, can't get them now.

I'm like, how did you not connect that that means lawyer the fuck up? Well, they must be guilty. No, babes. Were they ever in jail by the end of it? Were they ever in prison? No, it was the bitches who were getting pissed off. Literally. I'm like coming from a bitch with a big mouth. Shut the fuck up. Please. Oh, my God. I know.

I know. Literally, like, oh, fuck. Yeah, you twist my arm.

Oh, people confess to their shit all the time because they think it's not relevant. I mean, I've had people be like, like, you know, they, like, fail, like, a drug screening or something, like, for probation. And they're like, yeah, you didn't pass, like, your drunk test. It was an edible. Said it couldn't smoke.

okay it's the same right you still have marijuana in your system well okay so now it's on the record that you fucking took an edible yeah that's why lawyers say don't tell me yeah don't if you killed someone don't tell me well no if you kill someone tell me and no one else like tell me and no one else you're telling everyone but me that's the yeah that's the and you know what's actually interesting and people don't i guess people don't realize with evidence rules

the way they work is if a client, because obviously a trained client privilege, confidentiality, we are bound, bound by, you know, just shutting our fucking mouths, not being able to tell anyone anything. And it's a much stronger privilege than like the therapist privilege or a doctor patient because there are certain,

mandatory disclosures reporting mandatory reporting laws yeah we don't have that we are we're mandatory not reporting yeah you don't fucking say shit and so the way the evidence rules work out for when you have to tell and when you don't kind of thing if a client is

drove me out said hey like let's take a drive drove me out to some random location showed me a body in the ground yeah we're like look it's the missing the missing guy on television I killed him if I don't touch it if I if they don't give it to me like I don't hand it I don't handle it I am bound to not say a word That's crazy. Not even like call a tip anything. Like I can't say anything.

And I've always thought about that's always like the most extreme situation. That's why people are like, oh, lawyers are going to hell. And I'm like, no, yeah, probably. But, you know, I mean, we're trying to keep some people out of prison before then. Right. Is, you know, a good thing. We're the last line of defense for your constitutional rights.

You know, the people who are going to be fighting, especially the next four years, are going to be the ones who are for sure maybe probably going to hell. But they did some great stuff before then. Right. But I always think about just completely as a joke.

how i would react yeah like if a client was like let's get a coffee and i was like oh my god sure and i just have my fucking gucci bag like yes my stiletto heel in front of an open pit of someone and i'm just like i'm trying to play it cool right because i don't want to be a statistic I'm like, no, yeah, for sure. 100%, maybe some Febreze in the bag.

internet absolutely not yeah and so then you know things just kept I kept posting my bullshit the same as we always do and yeah yeah here we are and obviously been inspired by also so many other people on the platform I think a lot of people talk about you know when you're viral you have a following or whatnot how it started but I think what kept it going honestly instead of just saying okay you I mean there's always a point

Like, what would you, like, I don't know how I would act.

I don't know how I would act.

Yes, I'm holding space.

Yeah, they're not defying gravity anymore.

Right. It's messy. Why did we use a gun, babe? There's like stab wounds. That's blood everywhere.

Other than do not talk to cops. And that people are like, well, what if they pull you out? You know what I mean when I say don't talk to cops. I mean that if a cop shows up to your house and knocks on your door, you do not contend to a search. You do not let them in. You do not answer questions. You have to firmly say you're invoking a right to remain silent.

You have to affirmatively say, I want a lawyer. And after that, then they can't talk to you. And if they talk to you, then a lawyer later can get it thrown out. Another thing is don't go into business with your family. And sometimes, you know, I mean, like I'm seeing your mom and sister in the back of the room like that. You know, sometimes it works out. It's totally fine. Yeah.

But like always, always, always family, friends, whatever. If you get into business with people like people show their faces and it's not that everyone's an asshole. I know they're probably your best, best, best friend. If they are your bestest friend, like don't.

maybe don't like start a cryptocurrency like together you know maybe like deal with someone who you're not that's tea oh yeah it's like shit nobody nobody really thinks about don't do it do not do it and it's like the best case scenarios it works out the worst case scenario is worse like so much worse it's always ever imagine no matter what the upside is yes like the amount of families that have been torn apart i mean if anyone like google i did an episode on the u-haul family dynasty and

The U-Haul business is so wrought with tea and bullshit and murder because of just money. Like they, you know what I mean?

Unprecedented. Yeah. So don't go into business with your family. Um, and I mean, first, shut your mouth. Second, don't go into business with your family. Third, get a prenup and fourth, shut your mouth. And the get a prenup, if you're broke, if you're a broke man on the internet talking about gold diggers, we're not, we're not, I'm not talking about you baby.

yeah that's why you still get a tax return you don't need that exactly that's tea like i do you do you offer legal advice a lot to your like to people in your in your life your personal i mean i'm not allowed to right but yeah because uh unless you have an attorney client relationship yeah which can be created off of literally anything like a drunk girl at a bar being like should i do this and i'd be like totally go for it she could sue me later for malpractice so like that's why

you gotta be real careful yes of course i am i mean fuck my phone ringing all the time like from some random distant cousin i'm like hello they're like hey so like theoretically like if you ran not saying you but like theoretically if you ran through a car wash naked because of circumstances um and kicked off someone's like side mirror would that be one charge or two and i'm like can you back up?

Is this like personally, right? Like, where are you? Like, where are you? Are you calling from a county jail? No. Okay, perfect. Like that kind of shit where I'm like, let me, let me look something up really quick and get back to you. Like really, that, like that person, not every practice area is in my head immediately. I'm like, well, fuck, where are you? Michigan? Let me look it up really quick.

Like nudity. And I'm like on the same Google they are. I'm like, yeah, you look fine. Looks good to me. Yeah, you'll get off. Well, someone will, but.

so have you seen anything where you're kind of like yeah that's like an it seems to be every single time absolutely we saw women in self-defense women and stand your ground laws or black people when people of color yeah on stand your ground laws stand your ground laws the whole idea of like don't tread on me you know where we can guard our castle and protect our castle and that's why you know second amendment right to their arms um you know

I don't know how it was for you where you were like, okay, if this went away tomorrow, I wouldn't really give a fuck. Right. Or like, Oh, like sometimes you wake up and you're like, ah, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah. Um, like what kept you on it? Right. Like what kept you doing it? And for me, it was all of the other people on the app, including you who Were in their own power.

People who are white and men who shoot an intruder and kill them and then are never charged. It's called the castle doctrine. You can protect your castle. You can stand your ground laws. Shooting just unarmed kids in the street because they had a hoodie on. Well, stand your ground. We have stand your ground. They were threatened. XYZ.

But then when women do it because they're literally being attacked in the street or otherwise in their homes, domestic violence victims, especially trying to protect their children or protect themselves. It's they're always charged. And that's not I mean, statistically, yes, it's not literally 100 percent of the time they're always charged.

But just from what you see and what you study and what you learn is there.

are patterns oh it's danger ground for white men yeah who right yeah there's an asterisk exactly like the moment that you know uh people black people specifically people of color as well the moment it's a black man with a gun oh no we don't want we don't want people of color to have guns oh no that's just we just we didn't mean everyone can have second amendment rights well actually that's dangerous yeah no oh now now well that's threatening yeah well and also it's like you know when uh someone's pulled over by a cop and then you know a cop like

you know, shoots them eight, 18 times because, you know, their, their skin was a little bit darker and everyone, and there's always people go, well, we don't know the full story. Well, they were reaching in their backseat. What if there were a gun? There was a gun back there. Maybe they're in Alabama. There's a gun in every backseat in fucking Alabama.

Like they were reaching back for their license or their gum or whatever. I'm like, but the moment it's a white person, everything's fine, everything's cool, everything's chill.

Right, right. You don't care. Well, he was getting his license. Like, oh, it's not a big deal. And well, you know, oh, he had a license, you know, an open carry license. It's fine. I'm like, but that person had one too. The black guy had one too. The black girl had one too. Yeah. So that was one thing. I mean, there are hundreds of things that I could say, but that is one thing that came to mind.

Because domestic violence victims, especially in this country, women who are stalked, women who are threatened, and there are a lot of people online, even influencers and creators who've experienced that. They basically are like, well, unless they literally kill you, we can't really do anything.

Right. And then they act on it and then they go, well, it's not that bad.

Well, well, you like ran fast enough.

Oh, yeah. And that works by design.

There's a way like everyone who says, well, what can you do? You know, free country. We can't just, you know, basically prevent people from moving certain places or talking or saying certain things online or to someone just, you know, First Amendment just because one person feels threatened. I'm like, well, no, that's not what's happening. They they really because the law is very strict.

And in their own individualism. Who were doing the damn thing. No matter what it was. Whether it be like shitting on men online. Or doing their fucking worms. Their get ready with me's. And looking great doing it. I was like yeah. If someone's going to represent. this culture, this profession, or this sense of humor, I guess I can be one of them, that's fine.

archaic when it comes to doing what it can to protect our most vulnerable in society and our most vulnerable are honestly the people who aren't as protected by the law which includes LGBTQ plus community trans community women women of color children too the amount of times that

Laws just completely leave massive holes open for kids to be abused by the system or to be left out or to be just subject to the worst things both in juvenile detention centers and out. Even more vulnerable. Yeah, exactly. And it's because, I mean, I'm like, look at who set this system up. Look at who's been in power in the legal field for the last hundred million years.

White men, white men, white men. And even though right now today there are more women in this field than there are men, all of the people who are in power are the white men. It doesn't matter. You know what I mean? I'm like, yeah, being a woman, I see women everywhere, but we're all subject to the same misogyny because the people who are...

you know determining our paychecks who make decisions yeah we're the ones having to convince those fucking fucking assholes yeah of the personhood and the existence of people who don't look like them yep and that's difficult yeah sometimes when you're fighting prejudice it's fighting ghosts really literally yeah you're like i want to change the system but i need to get inside of it and how can i get in when it's impenetrable exactly you know what it kind of equates to sometimes

when it comes to because we're like in the legal field it's like politicians lawyers die in that chair bitch they do not retire they do not quit i work for a man who was 90 years old practicing in court we do not take licenses away oh no baby we let you we let you pull up like you pass the bar like during prohibition like that shit's fucking wild if father time is assigned to me

hey i'm oh yeah no you're hey i'll defend myself in court um he might keel over any second no 100 he's gonna be like oh she's free they freed her shit he's literally well i might not be alive by the end of this trial no exactly i kid you not exactly and they smell exactly like you think and so When you know, like, a lot of times, right, you're... Some of them, honestly, some of them are great.

Like, I've met a lot of men who are in this field who are the white male old demographic who are honestly not, like, necessarily the good ones because all of them should be the good ones, but they... have absolutely been pivotal in making sure there's a door open. But sometimes they're just so old that it's honestly like working with a Make-A-Wish kid.

And I mean that in the most respectful way of, look, if you're at Disneyland and you see a Make-A-Wish kid and they are a terror, right? They are screaming, yelling, crying in line, like fisting people, punching people, whatever. And you see the big Make-A-Wish crown right on their head. You go, well, it's not really my business to say anything because they don't have a lot of time left.

Yeah, here to enjoy. You just got to let it you just got to let it ride.

And put your energy somewhere more important.

Exactly. And all of these, not all of them, but some of these men who are like it's like, you know, during the Black Lives Matters protests. I remember one of my bosses who was otherwise a good lawyer is like rambling on and on. Right. About their, you know, the whole thugs terminology stuff. Yeah. And I was like, I just, I just sat there listening. Cause I'm like, he's going to be dead soon.

Like, I'm like, I don't, teaching him anything is not helping anyone. Like, it's not like he's a, like, he's not changing shit. He's going to go home to his dead wife and just, and his shitty dog. And that's going to be that. And eventually one day I'm going to get the call and go finally. Right.

And hopefully amplify the voices that matter too in this space. But yeah, and also it's just fun, just funny and fun.

Circle of life.

Lion King. They ate with that. Okay. But, but sometimes let's try to change their minds. Let's hope that they, they deteriorate.

can't tell you enough how much i love you i'm only on just to meet you i'm just i'm leaving in five minutes i'm honored well and i'm getting an episode out of it so thank you i appreciate you i mean when millions of people online want something i want it more i get it so i'm better than them so yep exactly i want to return the sentiment huge fan you and i have been yep online besties for a minute

everyone else let them die off exactly that's the fastest way to do it have a chance yeah exactly go either way yeah or they have enough of an open mind or empathy or whatever right exactly to grasp a concept i agree because right you look at all these other horrible times in history and you have to know to a certain extent yeah those people had to die off like i'm sorry like i'm really sorry but they just had to right there's no other way for us to have fixed that at all

No.

No, it's not my job. And on my billable hour, you couldn't afford me anyway. Be fucking serious.

That's what I'm going to tell you to do. Well, you're just intolerant. I'm not intolerant. I'm tolerant of people who actually want to listen. I'm intolerant of you. I'm intolerant of you. Oh, no, for sure. This is not a safe space for you. This is dangerous as fuck.

Yeah. Strong words is why I used it. Yeah.

So I want to say that first. Well, thank you. It should be the baseline for everyone.

It makes me feel so awkward because I genuinely believe I'm like, if my job as a lawyer, like everyone's job as a lawyer, is to go to court and argue for their clients, how is it not part of our job that we make it a better profession, that we make it a better field, that we make it safer for someone else, that we...

put our neck out where maybe another person couldn't because I'm a white woman and I know that the color of my skin is going to make a difference in whether I can say something or not whether I can threaten my job or not and and so for people who want to come into this field who are part of those communities that this field does not represent absolutely or are not represented by you know only five percent of all attorneys in the U.S.

are black which is crazy because 38.7 percent of our incarcerated population is black because of inherent racism period and prejudice period yeah And and so, you know, I always tell people I would want if I were in a situation and anyone could be of being on the other side of of a courtroom. That's not the good side. Right. The side where you're being accused of something.

Oh, I love her down. I love that so much. And, you know, men, too, it's like... I love when really cool, stunning, beautiful women, unassuming women just eat the fuck out of a sentence. Just chew on every word, every vowel. And the men in the comments are misspelling the word rhetoric. Like they can't even fucking breathe. Yeah, they're just shook. Their favorite words. Yeah.

And in this day and age, police are legally allowed to lie to you, legally allowed to do anything but their jobs. You'd be surprised. Well, I don't do anything wrong. There are people who are in prison right now who did nothing wrong. And that's how that that's how that works.

But, you know, if I were ever in that situation or if you or anyone were ever in that situation, wouldn't you want to be represented by someone who looks like you, who comes from your culture, who understands you and your neighborhood? and your background.

And yeah, of course there are going to be white people who are the good ones who, you know, hopefully if I represent someone who doesn't look like me and I have obviously that I do my best to represent their interests, like any great advocate would, but God, it's the same thing as like going to the OBGYN. I know there are good male ones. I want a woman. Sorry. And that's a personal fucking

opinion right i don't think that y'all should lose your licenses i think it's weird and creepy at a party for sure i'm gonna start i'm gonna side eye you but that's just me that's me personally yeah something stinks about right but why but people say yeah you're you have the right to say no man in my up my vagina when i'm giving birth yep why wouldn't you have why shouldn't you be able to have that choice it's on the worst day of your life when you need a lawyer and you need someone

And I'll tell you, there aren't enough of people who are from marginalized communities because of all the barriers in this field. So for those who can scale them, for those who can be here, there are people here who are holding the door open for you. And I'm one of them. And I'm not the only one.

Just because I'm online doesn't mean there aren't thousands of them just like me, better than me, more experienced than me, who can make it so that one day we don't have to have that conversation anymore.

Please. We sell those for a hot buck.

Reb Maisel, at Reb Maisel, everywhere on TikTok, on Instagram, Rebuttal Podcast, on YouTube, on Spotify, on Apple, and in Drew's comment section always for the rest of my fucking life. And you're coming out with a book. And I'm coming out with a book. Yep. The book they throw at you, it'll be out later this year. And I'm so excited. And thank you for having me.

And we'll defend you down online. Hell yeah.

Same.

And also, you know, they comment and they're like...

we kind of come across the same shit but yeah we from men mostly we're right and we stand on business and right yeah like i don't want to be right all the time it's daunting they make it so easy they make it so easy and also it's like it's like it's not that i mean it's not that hard to be this right you know i mean like you can just read a fuck it like read a book open google one no like dead ass i did one of my first like

And then TikTok was like, you can't bully people anymore.

Like, the straight alt-right.

Great news.

And you are the fourth most valuable.

You're not even employee of the month at GameStop.

People are getting picked over you for that.

Yeah. I mean, I've kept it super separate.

Yeah. And I've taken strides to do that, which I think that people do have this idea that, oh, if you're going to be or hold yourself out to be a professional online or your day job online, then it's just you automatically need to

cross those worlds and do a day in the life and you know have me in your boss's office like doing a doing a fucking story time like that no like i don't do that i don't have anyone in my videos for a reason i don't want people to connect where i work or who i work with whatever and with the cases that i'm on and i got an a in ethics bitch i know how this lawyer started to go i'm like well isn't this privilege isn't this comment whatever i'm like y'all are morons no

I think we've been, when we became mutuals, I shit my pants. I think everyone in my group chat, all my gays in Dallas were like, you're lying. You're fucking joking. Like where, where can you text her right now? I'm like, well, that's not really how it works.

uh first of all y'all are dumb as hell um media literacy is gone exactly and gone and so it's been great because it didn't i've never been recognized by a judge that has been hearing my case or like lawyers across the opposing council before um maybe one time potentially when it was a younger girl who kind of looked at me weird and then just didn't say anything and i don't think they

would have yeah but a lot of people in my office I mean one of my first days oh god I almost shit I was pee my pants my first day is one of my new firms I get you know I'm literally being set up like quite literally like sitting down at my desk and shit and they're like press this number and this is your phone and it has your name on it and whatever and I immediately get a phone call in my office I'm like okay this is weird and I answer and it's one of the partners like the big named on the fucking name plate partners yeah down the hall and he goes is this Reb Maisel and

And I immediately was like, oh, we're fucked. I was like, we're not. I was like packing my shit up.

Oh, I'm scooping shit into a bag. I'm like, well, I'm taking the free souvenirs. Fuck that. And he, he, I mean, and I said, yes. And immediately hung up the phone. I hear silly pounding steps. Cause he's bigger, right? He's a bigger man. Pounding steps, like flipped around into my office and goes, you need to show me how to set up this fucking ring light. And I'm like,

perfect you're like king let me help you go into his office we're setting up his ring light he's like how do we we need to get that you know we put the firm on the map etc etc and i'm just like okay jesus christ so yeah so people assume that i walk into a firm and everyone doesn't take me serious i'm like you would be shocked the number of clowns that are in this field great ones and bad ones i mean you first thing i learned when i went into this field is 80 of us are really dumb which is fine

But I remember it was like 2021, I think when you were, it was like all your videos, both of our videos were like a little blurry now when you look at them.

but you know someone's got which is probably the case for most professions exactly quite honest with you i was thinking about the other day i was like you never walk into a doctor's office and go you know what rank were you at in your college in your med school no you just kind of trust yeah you just say well they're a doctor yeah and so now every time my mom will try to be like setting me up with people well he's he's a lawyer i'm like oh i'm like okay let me see his transcript like let me see what grade he got in fucking civ pro like kidding

where does he work you know i mean like oh he's like oh yeah i'm so curious did you always want to be a lawyer no are you just argumentative because that's why i thought i wanted to be a lawyer see yeah i know i didn't know what i wanted to do i just liked school i was good at school and i liked school and i liked i loved being right god me too god you're so bad right yeah you're so me um yeah no i i

I just love doing that. And so I just wanted to have fun in college. Went to UC Santa Barbara. Go Gauchos. Love that damn school. I shotgun a lot of beers on a lot of decks. Didn't really go to class much. My GPA was not that great. And I came home. I went up. I studied abroad, you know, and then never stopped talking about it for the next 10 years.

Yeah, that's my culture. And then, yeah, I came home. I quite literally got home and it was the start of my senior year of college. And my roommate, Talia, came home with LSAT books. And I was like, oh, I should probably think about. thinking about my career and shit. I was thinking I was just going to keep going to school.

You look and you're like, yeah, you're like, oh, and both of our voices too. I realized we, I don't know if our balls dropped.

I was going to go to grad school, whatever, get my master's in history or some shit. And she said, yeah, you should just take the LSAT. So I did. And it worked out. I got a scholarship based on the LSAT score because that GPA, I was not, I need to overshadow that. So yeah, that's how it worked out. And I don't have family who are lawyers.

I don't have any legal background other than that before law school. And everyone around you is, well, my dad

you know best plaintiff's attorney in the in la county oh well i've worked at a firm for 10 years so nepotism right exactly oh exactly i'm happy for you oh yeah yeah amazing perfect like congratulations congratulations you still dress like shit like you still that suit still doesn't fit your shoulders like be serious listening to people chirp about how they have a better chance of doing better in law school because they you know have all this stuff

Have fun with that bitch.

And then you get to law school and you they tell you, oh, it's anonymous grading, first of all. And 100 percent of your grade is the final. And it's like four hours and it's half multiple choice, half essay. And that's that's it. And you're curved. You're curved against everyone in your class. Good fucking luck. Only 10 people are allowed to get A's.

And I started getting A's and all the people who were loud as hell started getting real quiet by the end of the year. So, yeah. So if you want to go to law school and you don't have any legal background, you can still do it. And be fine. And be really good at it. Yeah, really good at it.

in like 10, 20 years, like on, I'm gone. People will be like, oh my God, you're wearing four inch heels in court. I'm like, I need to be intimidating. And I know my presence already.

I love it so much.

Always, always. But I just know shit's going to get real crazy. But thank God. I'm like, look, I'm not a foot model. Like I'm not selling, you know, I'm not showing my feet for free on the ground. So I figure I'll be fine. Yeah.

Sometimes I think when bad shit happens to me like that, where I'm like, that's just weird, you know, for something bad like that to happen twice. You have a Mormon side of your family and I have a Mormon side of my family. I'm not Mormon. She's not. Don't like don't all freak out on me like whatever. But I think, you know, listen, Native American curses. I believe in that shit.

And they had every right and every reason I've seen holes, bitch. All right. She. Listen, like they curse and it stays, it stays. And I know for a fact that every time, anytime I get a flat tire, anytime, you know, something happens to me that happened to my mother like a month before, I'm like, you know what? This is just what, this is what we're owed. This is the karma that we were given.