Richard Kind

Oh, bacon boy, Hermione exclaims, you are most certainly not boring.

You are young and exciting and full of surprises.

Toby resists the urge to reach for his wallet.

And then again, Hermione continues, some relationships just run their course, in which case it's best that you go your separate ways in a way that doesn't undermine your future relationships.

Toby's face falls.

Jim Hero pastes a website link into the chat box.

Against his better judgment, Toby clicks on the link.

and is led to a website advertising blow-up dolls.

Toby grits and says, motherfucker.

Now you stop that, Jim Hero, Hermione says.

She twirls her wand at the screen.

Bacon Boy, I am casting a spell on you for everything to work out exactly how things were meant to be.

She flicks her wand one last time and then switches to her ukulele.

There is a house in New Orleans.

They call the rising sun.

And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy.

With growing dismay, Toby watches Hermione's viewer count Tick up.

Now, at 45, he whispers.

You are loved, Hermione, before logging out for the night.

The next morning, Toby's brewing coffee when Marta enters the kitchen, her hair damp from her shower.