Richard Kind

Go, get a hold of yourself.

Come back with a renewed vigor for what we do.

Figure out a way to support yourself without stealing.

But what would I do, Toby asks as O'Connell walks away.

What we always do when we try to connect with the world around us, O'Connell says over his shoulder.

We confess.

There are 173 viewers tonight, many of whom are pouring their life's troubles into the chat and seeking Hermione's counsel, mostly about relationship troubles, but also family problems, fights with friends, stress at school.

Guys, guys, Hermione says, her voice quavering.

I can't keep up with all your requests.

If you can just slow it down, then I will get to you all eventually.

This has the effect of speeding things up, and the messages flow more furiously.

Hermione wrings her hands.

Guys, guys, please, she pleads.

And then she rubs her temples vigorously.

Her erratic hands accidentally cause her purple wig to slide off, revealing her severe alopecia and strands of hair that sprout from her otherwise bald head like stringy reeds and a head shaped like the end of a potato.

The flow of messages in the chat box freezes.

Toby gasps, but then he quickly recovers.

He was caught by surprise, that's all really.

And in the crucial moments that follows, he returns to feeling the same fondness towards Hermione that he has always felt.

The other viewers do not feel the same.