Rima Grace

I think you can ask questions that kind of force him to name the reality that he's in.

How much of your retirement or debt have you touched?

What are you going to do six months from now if she's still asking you for money?

Okay, witness to scam.

You are dealing with a very complex and infuriating situation.

So if you can, keep your cool, ask him questions about his relationship, and let him know that you'll be there to support him if he decides to leave.

But ultimately, can't control what another adult does with their money.

What are you thinking, Sam?

Right.

That's interesting.

Yeah.

I don't really know much about poly relationships, but my understanding is that like in a healthy situation, you're supposed to talk openly about like who the primary and the secondary and the.

Alice, what are you thinking?

Otherwise, like money is quietly demoting you or it's like setting up that ranking.

And I think even if they're not in a poly relationship, it is, you know, something worth talking about, I think, because it seems like implicitly this person was saying, like, I have more money, so I will cover things.

Don't worry about it, which...

You know, it creates like a sense of care and security.

And now because he's pulling back his spending, I can imagine the listener feels like, yeah, he's not as valued or not in the same category.

I mean, definitely not in the same category as the primary partner.

So I think you can say, like, I noticed something changed after the trip and it changed how secure I'm feeling.