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Marketplace All-in-One

Help! My dad is dating a scammer!

12 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.858 - 15.16 Chris Duffy

It's easy to know you want to make a change in your life, but it is hard to actually do it. How to Be a Better Human from TED is a podcast for when self-help feels too daunting or just not for you. I'm Chris Duffy, the host of How to Be a Better Human, and trust me, I do not have it all figured out.

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15.18 - 29.262 Chris Duffy

But join me as I talk to experts about actually attainable ways we can try to improve our lives, whether it's facing fears, setting boundaries, cleaning your house, or all sorts of other topics. Find How to Be a Better Human wherever you get your podcasts.

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31.739 - 39.471 Sam Sanders

My first bit of advice is not quite a told you so, but this was bound to get messy.

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40.833 - 61.003 Rima Grace

I'm Rima Grace, and welcome to This is Uncomfortable, a show about life and how money messes with it. This week, we're answering your questions about money and dating. And don't worry, we're not going to do the whole who pays on the first date kind of questions. We're going to go to some more uncomfortable and outlandish places, from questions about dating a scammer to secret investments.

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60.983 - 82.246 Rima Grace

And by the way, if you have a sticky money situation you need advice on, you can always call us at 347-RING-TIU, or you can email us at uncomfortable at marketplace.org. All right, joining me to answer your questions is one of my favorite podcasters, Sam Sanders, host of The Sam Sanders Show. Hello, Sam. Hi, my friend.

82.566 - 84.528 Sam Sanders

People might not know, but we go way back.

84.588 - 87.211 Rima Grace

We do. Like more than a decade at this point, right?

87.691 - 90.214 Sam Sanders

Yeah, we had the same fellowship many, many years ago.

90.245 - 103.546 Rima Grace

Yeah, I think you did it several years before I did. And then we overlapped a little in the office at NPR. Yeah, I kind of helped show you the ropes a little bit. I know. I remember you as this, like, larger-than-life presence in the office and just, like, one of the go-to people for advice.

Chapter 2: What uncomfortable money questions are addressed in this episode?

183.682 - 195.177 Rima Grace

It's like you're looking at the wrong place. It's over here, actually. So before we get into the questions, I'm curious, what is like the weirdest conversation about money that you've had on a date?

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195.494 - 211.681 Sam Sanders

In general, I have, and this is with my current partner, on our first date, we talked about dead moms and bad breakups, and I got all the details of his divorce. And let me tell you something. First date. Divorce is a story about money, always.

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211.721 - 212.562 Rima Grace

Yep.

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213.103 - 226.727 Sam Sanders

Always. And the older I get, because I'm 41 now, so I have a lot of friends who are either going through or are done with divorces. It's crazy. So I guess my first piece of advice is prenup, prenup, prenup. Yep.

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226.747 - 231.876 Rima Grace

We just recorded an episode that'll come out next week about prenups and how we all need to get them.

231.996 - 233.479 Sam Sanders

You really do. You really do.

233.719 - 249.102 Rima Grace

I was thinking about this question myself. This wasn't a conversation about money, but I have a memory being in college and going on this lunch date with one of my classmates. And we were meeting up at, like, the student union or something. And the plan was for him to show up with food. And I just remember him walking towards me and his jacket was, like, kind of bulging outward.

249.122 - 259.373 Rima Grace

And he unzips the jacket and takes out these two boxes of, like, Chinese food or whatever. And I was like, oh, why were you carrying the food like that? And he was like, oh, well, don't judge me. But I stole the food.

259.393 - 264.199 Sam Sanders

Did he steal it? He stole the food. Ah! Wow.

Chapter 3: How can I help my dad realize he's dating a scammer?

1160.133 - 1161.195 Rima Grace

What are you thinking, Sam?

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1161.996 - 1186.566 Sam Sanders

I think that there are some red flags for me. Because if this guy is not just supporting his family to the point where he is going into debt, but also paying a second time for things you've already paid for, I think there's some larger deep-seated issues around money here that haven't really been unpacked.

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1187.548 - 1197.18 Sam Sanders

And I think that there's a lot of pride in there, a lot of maybe male-centric pride that needs to be addressed. But if he can't address it, I'd say run for the doors.

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1197.751 - 1214.079 Rima Grace

Oof, that's pretty sweet and simple. I think, I mean, honestly, this hits pretty close to home as an Arab American myself. Yeah, I feel like I've been in this situation before. What did you do? I mean, I didn't end up staying with that kind of guy.

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1214.119 - 1215.141 Sam Sanders

Okay.

1215.161 - 1215.502 Rima Grace

Yeah.

1215.883 - 1218.948 Sam Sanders

Yeah. And there you have it.

1218.968 - 1234.762 Rima Grace

And there you have it. All right. I mean, it's tough because I do think in Arab cultures, this is very, you know, speaking very generally here, there is a strong expectation that the man in a heterosexual relationship is There's an expectation that they're going to provide financially.

1234.782 - 1258.661 Rima Grace

And so it can feel shameful to show up sort of metaphorically empty-handed when you're dating or courting someone. So I can imagine, obviously, that's why he was like, I know I'm going to pay for these sodas. but I think you're right. I think that's because money and masculinity are very interwoven and it goes, like what he did was beyond just like a nice gesture.

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