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Pardon My Take

Eagles Lane Johnson, Jameis Winston, Day 3 In New Orleans And Listener FAQ’s

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So I overextended myself in a similar way that Max did, and I sent you a DM on Sunday. I'm going to read it out loud. Brother. You don't have my number either? You are a beast. What you're able to do day in and day out is legendary. Others rise and fall. You are the mountain year after year. You are that motherfucker. No one wants to see you. Impose your will. Be great.

Pardon My Take

Eagles Lane Johnson, Jameis Winston, Day 3 In New Orleans And Listener FAQ’s

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Yeah, I'm just trying to put some battery in the back. I'm just trying to put some gas in the tank. But my X's and O's question is, so you look at the Lions this year, and you see the crazy installs that they do. They have, like, Penesu will get in the ball and stuff like that.

Pardon My Take

Eagles Lane Johnson, Jameis Winston, Day 3 In New Orleans And Listener FAQ’s

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As an athletic guy, is there any part of you that's like, hey, it'd be cool if I, you know what I mean, we get a swing pass to me, or are you just happy?

Pardon My Take

NFL Conference Championship Sunday, Fastest 2 Minutes, Eagles Whomp The Commanders, The Chiefs are Inevitable + Who's Back of the Week

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We go to Kansas City for our annual coronation of Patrick Mahomes as the Bills come into town with the wagon circled. After a quick three and out, the Chiefs get the ball and proceed to march 90 yards with Kareem with me. Kareem for the ear, Kareem for the laugh, Kareem for the tears. Hunt sent Aerosmith Stadium ablaze.

Pardon My Take

NFL Conference Championship Sunday, Fastest 2 Minutes, Eagles Whomp The Commanders, The Chiefs are Inevitable + Who's Back of the Week

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Buffalo responded to take the lead as Edgar James, almost cook, stood and delivered a score of his own. Xavier Tears, worthy, had another grande weekend, teaming up with Patrick Mahomes in a deep cut, and then Mahomes ran one in for six and celebrated with the worst attempted spike since Bill Crosby.

Pardon My Take

NFL Conference Championship Sunday, Fastest 2 Minutes, Eagles Whomp The Commanders, The Chiefs are Inevitable + Who's Back of the Week

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But the Bills needed to cut it to a one-score game before halftime as Josh Allen dropped back, back, back, back. and found Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Hollins cutting his lead to five before the break. The second half started like the bachelor party that Max will be invited to as the bills kept rolling, but the big man refused to get TD fucked.

Pardon My Take

NFL Conference Championship Sunday, Fastest 2 Minutes, Eagles Whomp The Commanders, The Chiefs are Inevitable + Who's Back of the Week

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Buffalo did their best impression of Patrick Mahomes Sr. putting together another wild drive before blowing two points. This game was drunk, folks, and somehow Kansas City's offense stalled out, giving Buffalo the ball back with the lead. Huh? Huh? and on fourth down, in a touching tribute to William Jefferson Clinton's penis, the Bills got a bad spot.

Pardon My Take

NFL Conference Championship Sunday, Fastest 2 Minutes, Eagles Whomp The Commanders, The Chiefs are Inevitable + Who's Back of the Week

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Now the Chiefs have the ball, and Patrick Mahopenheimer said, now I am become death, destroyer of worlds. And the Buffalo ties it up, and Harrison, I like Big Bucker's response by turning into Sir Kixalot, splitting the uprights like a thong. And now the Bills took a shot downfield on fourth down, and Dalton next of kin, Cade, has been notified that their season is once again dead.

Pardon My Take

NFL Conference Championship Sunday, Fastest 2 Minutes, Eagles Whomp The Commanders, The Chiefs are Inevitable + Who's Back of the Week

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And when they die... They die nasty as the Chiefs look to make it three Super Bowl championships in a row, winning 32-29.

Pardon My Take

The Eagles Are Super Bowl Champs, Max Gets His Big Moment In Nola, Fastest 2 Minutes And Who's Back Of The Week

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We woke up this morning speech. I sent Max a video and I said, lucky are we, the people who get to take a loss and then come back and have another chance at this. We lost. We embarrassed ourselves against the Chiefs last time. And we're so fortunate to have a chance to take another crack at this thing. So I sent Max a video that said, we are fucking ready for them. And we get to the game.

Pardon My Take

The Eagles Are Super Bowl Champs, Max Gets His Big Moment In Nola, Fastest 2 Minutes And Who's Back Of The Week

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And right as we get to the stadium, I whisper to Max, What if we whip their ass? What if we go belt to ass to the Kansas City Chiefs? What if we find Patrick Mahomes, maybe one of the best, maybe the best quarterback of all time, and we beat his ass in front of a national audience? And sure enough, that's exactly what we did.

Pardon My Take

The Eagles Are Super Bowl Champs, Max Gets His Big Moment In Nola, Fastest 2 Minutes And Who's Back Of The Week

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I mean, walking into the stadium, it was almost like there was a sense of calm, like we had been here before. And it wasn't the fear that we had our team a couple of years ago. We're better at cornerback. That's where we lost. We're better at running back. That's where we lost. We're better at linebacker. That's where we lost. And we put it all together in a performance where there was no doubt.

Pardon My Take

The Eagles Are Super Bowl Champs, Max Gets His Big Moment In Nola, Fastest 2 Minutes And Who's Back Of The Week

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We wanted to keep on reminding ourselves that, Hey, we've lost this before. We've been in a situation where we're up 10 points, where we're up a bunch of points. And we took it to a place where we were up. What was it? 31 to nothing. 34, nothing. 34 to nothing? Yeah. And we took care of business the entire way.

Pardon My Take

The Eagles Are Super Bowl Champs, Max Gets His Big Moment In Nola, Fastest 2 Minutes And Who's Back Of The Week

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Honestly, the city of Philadelphia has to feel so proud of what the Eagles did right now. The joy in that stadium, the mirth, the feelings that are just coursing through all of our veins right now. It's incomprehensible. Belt to ask.

Pardon My Take

The Eagles Are Super Bowl Champs, Max Gets His Big Moment In Nola, Fastest 2 Minutes And Who's Back Of The Week

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I think the way that we see this guy is going to be different. The way he carries himself is going to be different. The fucking way he feels in his balls, in his soul, in his bones is going to be different forever. You have to give this guy his flowers and we might turn into the most obnoxious people you've ever met in your fucking life.

Pardon My Take

The Eagles Are Super Bowl Champs, Max Gets His Big Moment In Nola, Fastest 2 Minutes And Who's Back Of The Week

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We all have been sweating, though. We all are just sweating our dicks off. We're just co-mingling body odors. Me, Pug, and Max just have like a perfect cocktail, a Neapolitan ice cream with three different body odors going on right now. It smells delicious.

Pardon My Take

Jason Kelce, Chris Berman, Super Bowl 59, NBA Trade Deadline + Fyre Fest From New Orleans

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I thought you killed it. I especially – what was the best one so far? I think – Hmm. We got Berman. Who was before Berman?

Pardon My Take

Jason Kelce, Chris Berman, Super Bowl 59, NBA Trade Deadline + Fyre Fest From New Orleans

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It used to be like work wear. I thought that was for kids. No, it's like coveralls. Oh, okay.

Pardon My Take

Jason Kelce, Chris Berman, Super Bowl 59, NBA Trade Deadline + Fyre Fest From New Orleans

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Who was before Berman? Jason Kelsey. That was amazing.

Pardon My Take

Jason Kelce, Chris Berman, Super Bowl 59, NBA Trade Deadline + Fyre Fest From New Orleans

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Well, I mean, my phone went off in the middle of this one. So probably this one. I like that accountability.

Pardon My Take

Jason Kelce, Chris Berman, Super Bowl 59, NBA Trade Deadline + Fyre Fest From New Orleans

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I was hoping y'all would have Marshawn Lynch. I was like, maybe I'll finally get to meet Marshawn Lynch. So I was a little disappointed by that. So Marshawn, if you're listening, we should definitely be best friends.

Pardon My Take

Jason Kelce, Chris Berman, Super Bowl 59, NBA Trade Deadline + Fyre Fest From New Orleans

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Yeah, Seahawks Super Bowl future for next year. Okay. We got 30 to one odds right now. I would hammer it.

Pardon My Take

Jason Kelce, Chris Berman, Super Bowl 59, NBA Trade Deadline + Fyre Fest From New Orleans

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The Eagles should win, but... Okay, so he says the Eagles should win.