Roan
speaker
48 appearances
4 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Roan’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
We go to Kansas City for our annual coronation of Patrick Mahomes as the Bills come into town with the wagon circled. After a quick three and out, the Chiefs get the ball and proceed to march 90 yards with Kareem with me. Kareem for the ear, Kareem for the laugh, Kareem for the tears. Hunt sent Aerosmith Stadium ablaze.
Buffalo responded to take the lead as Edgar James, almost cook, stood and delivered a score of his own. Xavier Tears, worthy, had another grande weekend, teaming up with Patrick Mahomes in a deep cut, and then Mahomes ran one in for six and celebrated with the worst attempted spike since Bill Crosby.
But the Bills needed to cut it to a one-score game before halftime as Josh Allen dropped back, back, back, back. and found Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Hollins cutting his lead to five before the break. The second half started like the bachelor party that Max will be invited to as the bills kept rolling, but the big man refused to get TD fucked.
Buffalo did their best impression of Patrick Mahomes Sr. putting together another wild drive before blowing two points. This game was drunk, folks, and somehow Kansas City's offense stalled out, giving Buffalo the ball back with the lead. Huh? Huh? and on fourth down, in a touching tribute to William Jefferson Clinton's penis, the Bills got a bad spot.
Now the Chiefs have the ball, and Patrick Mahopenheimer said, now I am become death, destroyer of worlds. And the Buffalo ties it up, and Harrison, I like Big Bucker's response by turning into Sir Kixalot, splitting the uprights like a thong. And now the Bills took a shot downfield on fourth down, and Dalton next of kin, Cade, has been notified that their season is once again dead.
And when they die... They die nasty as the Chiefs look to make it three Super Bowl championships in a row, winning 32-29.
The thing about me is I beat the fuck out of Hank.
Okay.
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