Robert J. Coplan

So solitude is a place where you have privacy, where you have control and autonomy.

over what you get to do.

You choose to be you.

You act as you choose.

You can do the activities that you choose.

And there is an empowerment that comes with being able to make your own choices and do your own things.

And it becomes a place where you can engage in self exploration and a chance where you can reflect and grow.

And I also like to think of Solitude as an incubator for creativity and problem solving.

Oh, that's an extremely important point.

And here I talk about something that's called the Goldilocks effect, okay?

So this is straight out of the fairy tale, right?

So we all know the fairy tale of Goldilocks and the three bears and she's in the house and she's trying the three bowls of porridge and one is too hot and one is too cold.

And then she finds the one that's just right, but it's just right for her.

And that's what we think is going on with solitude and with socializing.

So for each person, there's a just right amount of time alone and the just right amount of socializing.

That's going to be sort of maximal for optimizing your, your own wellbeing.

But the thing is it's different for everyone.

And so everyone needs to almost do like a little experiment.

And what I suggest to people is, you know, keep a diary for a week or two where you just record how much time you spent alone each day and how much time you spend with other people each day.

and record how you're feeling at the end of the day, and then just start looking for patterns and make some small adjustments in how much time you're spending with others, how much time you're spending alone if you can, and see how that impacts upon your mood.