Robert J. Coplan

So some people are, you know, huge extroverts on, you know, way on one end of the scale and others are huge solitude lovers way on the other end of the scale.

But most people fall somewhere in the middle, which means that we're all going to find

you know, a relative equilibrium of relative balance between socializing and solitude.

And that's just fine.

And if you're feeling generally okay about it, then you're actually probably in the minority.

We've done quite a few studies where we've just tried to get people satisfaction with their solitude and satisfaction with their social times.

And, you know, people are stressed and when you're stressed, it means you don't feel like your time is your own and you can't control those circumstances.

And we found that only about 20% of people are satisfied with the amount of time they get alone and the amount of time that they get with others.

No, you're absolutely right.

And I think we can try to change the script on that a little bit and think again about solitude as, you know, solitude is often thought of as an empty place, right?

A place where there's nothing to do and, you know, it's empty.

It's all that's there is rumination and loneliness and anxiety.

But solitude can be a full place.

It could be a place that you can fill with what you choose to put there.

And when you choose to go there, when you choose to go to that place and do things that you want to do, that you have the autonomy, the control to do, it can really help you grow and help you understand yourself and make you understand yourself better, helps you understand others better.

And like I said, ultimately improves your relationships with others.