Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Didn't you have three roommates kill themselves?

Okay, Jordan, it's a shame you're not handsome because you're very stupid, okay? Reckless fighting should only happen during the game. That's the violence I'm gambling on. If you have the energy to fight after, that means you didn't play hard enough.

Okay, Jordan, it's a shame you're not handsome because you're very stupid, okay? Reckless fighting should only happen during the game. That's the violence I'm gambling on. If you have the energy to fight after, that means you didn't play hard enough.

Which brings us to our sick boom-bang bet of the night. When will Jordan Klepper finally learn the names of his three children? As always, this bet brought to you by gambling. Gambling. I think your mom has some money in her purse.

Which brings us to our sick boom-bang bet of the night. When will Jordan Klepper finally learn the names of his three children? As always, this bet brought to you by gambling. Gambling. I think your mom has some money in her purse.

Oh, just stop it with this, okay? I live by two rules. One, I do not mix politics and sports. And two, if I'm watching porn and they start speaking Russian, I'm out. The least I can do to support Ukraine.

Oh, just stop it with this, okay? I live by two rules. One, I do not mix politics and sports. And two, if I'm watching porn and they start speaking Russian, I'm out. The least I can do to support Ukraine.

Who's gonna hate on that? I hate it, okay? We need to keep politics out of sports. Sunday is for drinking eight beers and watching football. Drinking eight beers and watching Rachel Maddow? That's a Monday thing.

Who's gonna hate on that? I hate it, okay? We need to keep politics out of sports. Sunday is for drinking eight beers and watching football. Drinking eight beers and watching Rachel Maddow? That's a Monday thing.

Gambling. You need something to do alone in your car.

Gambling. You need something to do alone in your car.

Merry Christmas, Jordan.

Merry Christmas, Jordan.

Okay, it's called Asian Christmas.

Okay, it's called Asian Christmas.

Wrong again, Hepatitis Gumby, okay? We need more football players in movies. I mean, just imagine Gronk in 12 Years a Slave, okay? Never too soon for a reboot.

Wrong again, Hepatitis Gumby, okay? We need more football players in movies. I mean, just imagine Gronk in 12 Years a Slave, okay? Never too soon for a reboot.

Which brings us to my badass bingo bomb bet of the evening. Which elderly lesbian could kick Jordan Klepper's ass? As always, brought to you by gambling. Gambling. Savings accounts are for pussies.

Which brings us to my badass bingo bomb bet of the evening. Which elderly lesbian could kick Jordan Klepper's ass? As always, brought to you by gambling. Gambling. Savings accounts are for pussies.

I mean, obviously, I think they should get one per half, like a challenge flag.