Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

I've never seen someone so sad that the deep state didn't kill someone. And also, hey, you can't talk so much shit about how the deep state did this and make it your entire personality and then now you're in it and you're like just shrugging it off like, oh yeah, I guess they were right the first time they investigated this.

I've never seen someone so sad that the deep state didn't kill someone. And also, hey, you can't talk so much shit about how the deep state did this and make it your entire personality and then now you're in it and you're like just shrugging it off like, oh yeah, I guess they were right the first time they investigated this.

Hey, if you fail that hard, you gotta let Hillary Clinton kill you, right? And finally, I don't know what we're cheering for. And finally, let's talk about the Department of Transportation. Recently, air travel in America has become what's known in the industry as totally . And I'm sure Secretary Sean Duffy has been working on a great plan to fix it. We are moving Jesus out of the basement. What?

Hey, if you fail that hard, you gotta let Hillary Clinton kill you, right? And finally, I don't know what we're cheering for. And finally, let's talk about the Department of Transportation. Recently, air travel in America has become what's known in the industry as totally . And I'm sure Secretary Sean Duffy has been working on a great plan to fix it. We are moving Jesus out of the basement. What?

Well, is that the new air traffic controller?

Well, is that the new air traffic controller?

No, no, no, no. Thank God, because when my plane is going down, I can tell the person next to me, don't worry, that's a shitty Jesus painting. It's upstairs at the Merchant Marine Academy now. For more on the return of the Jesus painting, let's go live to the painting and hear from the King of Kings himself, Jesus Christ. Hello, my child. Wait, hang on, Jesus, you're white?

No, no, no, no. Thank God, because when my plane is going down, I can tell the person next to me, don't worry, that's a shitty Jesus painting. It's upstairs at the Merchant Marine Academy now. For more on the return of the Jesus painting, let's go live to the painting and hear from the King of Kings himself, Jesus Christ. Hello, my child. Wait, hang on, Jesus, you're white?

I mean, I thought the real Jesus was like Middle Eastern or something.

I mean, I thought the real Jesus was like Middle Eastern or something.

Of course. But, oh, hey, Your Majesty, Sean Duffy is taking you out of the basement. I mean, you've got to be happy about that.

Of course. But, oh, hey, Your Majesty, Sean Duffy is taking you out of the basement. I mean, you've got to be happy about that.

Yeah, I guess that's technically true. But hey, at least you can be seen by more people in this historic painting.

Yeah, I guess that's technically true. But hey, at least you can be seen by more people in this historic painting.

Okay, well, I mean, you're kind of Jesus. Like, can you help us with some of this airport stuff? No! No!

Okay, well, I mean, you're kind of Jesus. Like, can you help us with some of this airport stuff? No! No!

All right. All right, well, hey, can you get me courtside seats? For you? Anything. All right, awesome. I'm going to bring my friend, Jordan Klepper.

All right. All right, well, hey, can you get me courtside seats? For you? Anything. All right, awesome. I'm going to bring my friend, Jordan Klepper.

Okay. Amen to that. That's very accurate. Hey, Jesus Christ, everybody. And we come back. Bill Belichick is in love, so don't go away. Welcome back to The Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say politics, drools, and sports rules. For a full recap on the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.

Okay. Amen to that. That's very accurate. Hey, Jesus Christ, everybody. And we come back. Bill Belichick is in love, so don't go away. Welcome back to The Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say politics, drools, and sports rules. For a full recap on the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.