Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Now, those are not ghosts. I believe those are tenses.

Now, those are not ghosts. I believe those are tenses.

John, for your examples, you've actually cited fictional characters, and in fact, the people who play them are quite wealthy.

John, for your examples, you've actually cited fictional characters, and in fact, the people who play them are quite wealthy.

When a news story falls through the cracks, Louis Black catches it for a segment we call Back in Black.

When a news story falls through the cracks, Louis Black catches it for a segment we call Back in Black.

Now, a week before Earth Day was, of course, Tax Day, April 15th. As the economy continues to ride a wave of instability, many are looking for new and innovative ways to cheat. I'm sorry, save on their taxes. Our own Ed Helms investigates one very interesting option.

Now, a week before Earth Day was, of course, Tax Day, April 15th. As the economy continues to ride a wave of instability, many are looking for new and innovative ways to cheat. I'm sorry, save on their taxes. Our own Ed Helms investigates one very interesting option.

Ed Helms, we'll be right back.

Ed Helms, we'll be right back.

You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

My favorite word. My favorite word.

My favorite word. My favorite word.

Statues. They're not just fancy toilets for pigeons. They're the highest form of art, an expression of beauty that people come from around the world to marvel at. But some idiots are trying to marvel their way to second base.

Statues. They're not just fancy toilets for pigeons. They're the highest form of art, an expression of beauty that people come from around the world to marvel at. But some idiots are trying to marvel their way to second base.

That's right. Horny morons have groped this statue so hard that the bronze finish wore off. Isn't the phrase, kiss me, I'm Irish, not motorboat my cat's iron cleavage, I'm Irish. How about you just let a fishmonger monger her fish in peace without you morons trying to touch her heaving mahi-mahis? It's almost... It gets worse. It's almost like these people don't know they aren't real boobs, okay?

That's right. Horny morons have groped this statue so hard that the bronze finish wore off. Isn't the phrase, kiss me, I'm Irish, not motorboat my cat's iron cleavage, I'm Irish. How about you just let a fishmonger monger her fish in peace without you morons trying to touch her heaving mahi-mahis? It's almost... It gets worse. It's almost like these people don't know they aren't real boobs, okay?

It's not like a hard-boiled egg where you crack open the shell and reveal real boobs inside. But surely people must be doing this for a good and not stupid reason.

It's not like a hard-boiled egg where you crack open the shell and reveal real boobs inside. But surely people must be doing this for a good and not stupid reason.