Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)
speaker
1,179 appearances
40 recordings
3 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Jun 2025
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
Some tax breaks at least. We're the ones who need it.
We're the desperate, sad people who need that money. I want to say desperate and do something. Are you going out with someone on Valentine's Day?
Do you really want this? It's cute. Look at my nails.
All right, fine. I'll prove to you it's the worst day. Come on a date with me on Valentine's Day. I'll show you it's the worst day of the year.
Yeah, Valentine's Day is the worst day of the year. F*** it.
There it is. I direct the Army to change the name of Fort Liberty, North Carolina to Fort Bragg, North Carolina. That's right. Bragg is back.
Utter domination. There is no other way to describe what the Eagles did to the Chiefs. Talk about a blowout. Even I was like, is there a mercy rule here?
Uh, no. This country's pretty . Uh, that... that being said, uh, this is actually a good idea. I do like a garden of heroes. I mean, America is so divided, but if we can walk in a garden with statues of George Washington and Neil Armstrong and Paul Giamatti, maybe it'll bring us together.
Yeah, yeah, it's great. Did you say Paul Giamatti? The bald guy from Billions is in your top three? Uh, he's also the bald guy in Sideways and Big Mama's House. Also, I saw him eat a hot dog in Union Square, although that might have just been another bald guy. But either way, American hero. Giamatti's not statue status. At best, he can be a plaque or a name on a bench. A bench?
Uh, the thing people fart and smoke crack on? I don't think so, okay? Paul Giamatti gets a statue, maybe two. We're not putting Paul Giamatti next to Abraham Lincoln and John Adams. Uh, Paul Giamatti won an Emmy playing John Adams, okay? How many Emmys did John Adams win for being John Adams? Ronnie, what the are you talking about? John Adams was the second president and he didn't have slaves.
Early America, no slaves. Second president, pretty cool. Yeah, you know who else didn't have slaves? Paul the Hardy with the body Giamatti. I'm like, I'm really trying to be unified right now, but Ryan, I'm truly going to kill you. Okay, well, why don't you come over here? I'll unify my fist with your face.
Oh, I'm sorry that I don't want to walk through a garden staring at Lincoln's penis. Ronnie, what? Why would his penis be out? Because obviously the statues will be naked. Like they are in Europe. They all got little baby carrot dicks, okay? It's called culture. Bro, this is America, all right? Our statues have clothes, wear funny-ass hats, and ride horses.
Okay, look, I'll give you the hats and horses, but they're nude or I walk.
Oh! Can we please not D.I. the f***ing garden?
Gnomes?
Okay, we are not making a statues into gnomes. And if we did, wouldn't it be Ruth Bader Gnomesburg? I hate you, and I hate your half of the country.
Thank you.
Thank you, Desi.
Fine, fine, but she's nude and her boobs have to look like Paul Giamatti.
I'm fine with that, as long as she's surrounded by, like, a lovely little field of begonias. Begonias? You stupid f***. It's Piccadilly, so I burned this garden to the ground.
Showing 781–800 of 1,179 · page 40 of 59
← Previous
Next →