Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

You know what? All's well that ends well. The good news is that no one got hurt except for the people of Yemen. And I guess it'll be okay as long as everyone involved learned their lesson.

You know what? All's well that ends well. The good news is that no one got hurt except for the people of Yemen. And I guess it'll be okay as long as everyone involved learned their lesson.

Okay, good enough, yep, good, good, good, good. We solved it, good. Of course, everyone is wondering what this scandal means for America's national security under Donald Trump, but there's another important question. What does it mean for journalism? And the answer is something that's gonna make a great movie.

Okay, good enough, yep, good, good, good, good. We solved it, good. Of course, everyone is wondering what this scandal means for America's national security under Donald Trump, but there's another important question. What does it mean for journalism? And the answer is something that's gonna make a great movie.

Get all the Oscars now! When we come back, Jordan and I get mad about March Madness, so don't go away!

Get all the Oscars now! When we come back, Jordan and I get mad about March Madness, so don't go away!

For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.

For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.

Like Ant-Man, I want teeny tiny little athletes. That's nuts, Ronny.

Like Ant-Man, I want teeny tiny little athletes. That's nuts, Ronny.

Well, ants can lift 50 times their body weight. Try culturing yourself and watching a Marvel movie, you moron.

Well, ants can lift 50 times their body weight. Try culturing yourself and watching a Marvel movie, you moron.

Wow, just like Jordan over here, this year's tournament sucks!

Wow, just like Jordan over here, this year's tournament sucks!

Where's the drama? Where's the crazy upsets? The only reason I watch these games is to see Duke fans crying to their ascots. Where are my Cinderella stories at? Usually there's at least one fairy tale underdog with a starting lineup of guys that all have heart conditions and whose team is just integrated for the first time.

Where's the drama? Where's the crazy upsets? The only reason I watch these games is to see Duke fans crying to their ascots. Where are my Cinderella stories at? Usually there's at least one fairy tale underdog with a starting lineup of guys that all have heart conditions and whose team is just integrated for the first time.

Okay, quinceañera is at 15, pendejo. Also, mi quinceañera muy excelente.

Okay, quinceañera is at 15, pendejo. Also, mi quinceañera muy excelente.

Moving on, despite the lack of March Madness upsets, there was one Cinderella story that the entire world could get behind.

Moving on, despite the lack of March Madness upsets, there was one Cinderella story that the entire world could get behind.