Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

no i mean it's rush hour for love we have all this pressure from society to take people out and if you can't get it done guess what everyone is upset in puerto rico which means friendship day what are you doing friendship day uh you give your friends like candy and flowers you get into a fight with your partner over what restaurant booking you could not get no well then that's not valentine's day

no i mean it's rush hour for love we have all this pressure from society to take people out and if you can't get it done guess what everyone is upset in puerto rico which means friendship day what are you doing friendship day uh you give your friends like candy and flowers you get into a fight with your partner over what restaurant booking you could not get no well then that's not valentine's day

Oh, really? You don't feel the pressure of society weighing on you on February 14th?

Oh, really? You don't feel the pressure of society weighing on you on February 14th?

Oh, yeah? I'm sure all your platonic guy friends really love hanging out with you.

Oh, yeah? I'm sure all your platonic guy friends really love hanging out with you.

So the other 364 days, they can go themselves. What other day do you wake up and just think about love first? Well, if you're a good person every day.

So the other 364 days, they can go themselves. What other day do you wake up and just think about love first? Well, if you're a good person every day.

Okay, so is Valentine's Day the worst day of the year or not? No, it's not. Chocolate's the worst candy. Prove me wrong. Chocolate's delicious. Pure chocolate? Pure cocoa? Tastes like shit. Why are you so angry at chocolate? Because it's overrated. Like, if you really love me, get me something that lasts. Like your HBO password. Sharing the HBO password. Is a sign of true love.

Okay, so is Valentine's Day the worst day of the year or not? No, it's not. Chocolate's the worst candy. Prove me wrong. Chocolate's delicious. Pure chocolate? Pure cocoa? Tastes like shit. Why are you so angry at chocolate? Because it's overrated. Like, if you really love me, get me something that lasts. Like your HBO password. Sharing the HBO password. Is a sign of true love.

And a sign of commitment. Yeah, it means I'm going to let this person up my algorithm.

And a sign of commitment. Yeah, it means I'm going to let this person up my algorithm.

Sex should be a morning thing, never a night thing. Prove me wrong.

Sex should be a morning thing, never a night thing. Prove me wrong.

I'm with you. You've got energy.

I'm with you. You've got energy.

Whatever. It's the rhythm you have. As a human.

Whatever. It's the rhythm you have. As a human.

Yeah.

Yeah.