Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)
speaker
1,179 appearances
40 recordings
3 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Jun 2025
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I've never seen someone so sad that the deep state didn't kill someone. And also, hey, you can't talk so much shit about how the deep state did this and make it your entire personality and then now you're in it and you're like just shrugging it off like, oh yeah, I guess they were right the first time they investigated this.
Hey, if you fail that hard, you gotta let Hillary Clinton kill you, right? And finally, I don't know what we're cheering for. And finally, let's talk about the Department of Transportation. Recently, air travel in America has become what's known in the industry as totally . And I'm sure Secretary Sean Duffy has been working on a great plan to fix it. We are moving Jesus out of the basement. What?
Well, is that the new air traffic controller?
No, no, no, no. Thank God, because when my plane is going down, I can tell the person next to me, don't worry, that's a shitty Jesus painting. It's upstairs at the Merchant Marine Academy now. For more on the return of the Jesus painting, let's go live to the painting and hear from the King of Kings himself, Jesus Christ. Hello, my child. Wait, hang on, Jesus, you're white?
I mean, I thought the real Jesus was like Middle Eastern or something.
Of course. But, oh, hey, Your Majesty, Sean Duffy is taking you out of the basement. I mean, you've got to be happy about that.
Yeah, I guess that's technically true. But hey, at least you can be seen by more people in this historic painting.
Okay, well, I mean, you're kind of Jesus. Like, can you help us with some of this airport stuff? No! No!
All right. All right, well, hey, can you get me courtside seats? For you? Anything. All right, awesome. I'm going to bring my friend, Jordan Klepper.
Okay. Amen to that. That's very accurate. Hey, Jesus Christ, everybody. And we come back. Bill Belichick is in love, so don't go away. Welcome back to The Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say politics, drools, and sports rules. For a full recap on the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.
I paid good money to see that. Oh, I paid good money to see a horse kick you in the face. Until then, let's talk sports. And the only story that matters is New York!
What a mind-blowing image. People smiling in Midtown Manhattan. No city party's hotter while standing in your arena than New York City, all right? And I love that guy who climbed the billboard. Can you believe he only pays $1,700 a month to live up there? It's practically a studio. But you know what? New Yorkers waited a long time. They deserve this.
And the best part of this celebration, Michael Kosta wasn't there.
Which brings us to our Bye Bye Boston Better Than Night. How will New Yorkers celebrate a Knicks championship brought to you by gambling? Gambling. I heard greyhounds actually like running until their legs explode. Let's move on from celebrating basketball and celebrate love or whatever the hell this is.
Grow up, Costa, you perv, all right? You're just jealous you'll never be famous enough to date a woman born four years from now. We sh... We should be celebrating their love. Love is strange. That's why it's beautiful. Remember that turtle that had sex with that shoe? Well, that shoe was 40 years younger than that turtle, and they seem perfectly happy to me.
I truly regret talking to you.
Hey, it's about time, all right? Baseball players are terrible at wiping. Have you ever noticed those shit marks under their eyes?
Which brings us to our Tush Tech Better Than Night. Who will be the first Dodgers player to get sucked into a Japanese toilet? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. The new pope hasn't condemned it yet.
Yeah, like a marinara sauce. That could be interesting.
Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is an award-winning fashion designer who launched his eponymous label in 2009. His memoir is called Walk Like a Girl. Please welcome Prabhu Guru. Bravo, everybody.
Showing 161–180 of 1,179 · page 9 of 59
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