Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)
speaker
1,179 appearances
40 recordings
3 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Jun 2025
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
That's our show for the night. But before you go, tired of complaining about who's running things? We are, and we're paid to do it. But maybe it's time you take matters into your own hands and be the leader you've been waiting for slash complaining for. Just go to the link below to learn more from our friends at Headcount about running for office. Yes, you, running for office.
You one day could be someone we're making fun of, right? Now, here it is, your moment of zen.
You don't even know what you're doing. You just think, oh, clean energy, let's get rid of it. We'll rely on oil, gas, and coal. Well, there ain't enough oil, gas, and coal to fuel the world, and it's more expensive to do it. Donald Trump, what the heck are you doing?
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Okay, okay.
There are thousands of people here. They started screaming and chanting, daddy's home and daddy dog.
Your entire life, you have stood for doing things that other people thought they couldn't do.
Paramount Podcasts.
I'm Roddy Shank. We got so much to talk about tonight. Kristi Noem fails a pop quiz. The FBI wants you to shut up about Jeffrey Epstein already. And while you were stuck at the airport, Sean Duffy did some redecorating. So let's check in with the best cabinet ever in another installment of The Worst Wing. What a bunch of losers.
Let's start with Kristi Noem, Secretary of Homeland Security and one woman kill shelter. She's in charge of the country's pathway to citizenship, which for hundreds of years has been a solemn, dignified process for achieving the American dream. But what if, instead, it was tacky and gross?
A surreal report that could turn immigration into a TV show. The Trump administration says it's in the very beginning stages of the vetting process for a reported immigrant reality TV show where immigrants would compete to prove they are the most American with a chance to win U.S. citizenship.
A reality TV show for citizenship is somehow the most un-American and most American thing I've ever heard. Although we already have a contest to prove who's the most American, and it's called the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. What's more American than eating until your colon explodes and then going bankrupt from medical bills? But let me be clear, I hate this idea.
Unless they're looking for a host, then I love this idea. And I'm available on Fridays. I... I will say, it might be a nicer way to get deported. Instead of ICE agents disappearing you up in unmarked vehicles, Ryan Seacrest walks into your living room with a TV crew and is like, Carlos, we're taking you out of the USA.
But meanwhile, Kristi Noem was testifying in Congress today about whether her administration is deporting people without habeas corpus, which is their right to due process. If you didn't know what habeas corpus was, don't worry, Kristi Noem didn't Google it either.
Okay, look, if Kristi Noem was just a random person on the street, I'd get it if she was like, Hapius Corpus? That's a Harry Potter spell, right? Makes you invisible? But the Secretary of Homeland Security should know that Hapius Corpus prevents the president from deporting you without due process. Not that it lets the president deport you without due process. That's the opposite.
of what it means, and I didn't know you could have dyslexia for laws. Either way, Noam whiffed hard on that question, but unfortunately for her, the quiz was just beginning.
It was in one. It was the first... You didn't even read the first one. So can you stop? We get it, okay? Stop asking her harder questions. Like, how would senators like it if Kristi Noem asked you questions that she was an expert in, huh? Hey, Senator Kim, do you know how to trick a puppy into walking into an open grave? No? Not so smart now, are you?
Anyway, Kristi Noem, you still don't know the basics of American law, so I'm sorry to say... we're gonna have to take you out of USA. But luckily... I know. Won them back after the dog killing jokes. But luckily for America, Christine Noem isn't the only one in charge of keeping the country safe.
We also got Kash Patel and Dan Bongino, two guys who look like they should be henchmen in a Ninja Turtles movie, but are somehow running the FBI now. And before he took over, Dan Bongino wasn't afraid to tell us the truth about what the FBI was covering up.
Yeah, exactly. Epstein killed himself? Bongino knows the truth, and now he and Kash Patel get to see all the files. So on Sunday, they sat down for an interview to tell us what really happened. Because we know Epstein didn't just kill himself. He killed himself. What? He killed himself without air quotes? That is the craziest thing I've ever heard, all right? I was a single-issue voter on this.
Showing 141–160 of 1,179 · page 8 of 59
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