Rory McIlroy

speaker

1,464 appearances 33 recordings 15 series first heard Feb 2026 last heard 22 Jun

Rory McIlroy’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 33 in all, peaking in Apr 2026 with 21.

newest first · ▶ plays the moment

Yes, we do want to announce Beer Bowl 2026.

Oh, nice.

What are we doing with this right now?

Using your phone while you poop greatly raises hemorrhoid risk.

Well, listen, you want to know what greatly raises your hemorrhoid risk?

Squatting.

Squatting greatly.

Much more than any amount of screen time on the toilet does.

When you hold your breath with twice your body weight on your back and you go, that's a good hemorrhoid risk.

All right.

I almost got a hemorrhoid watching you do that.

Exerting gives hemorrhoids.

Listen, high achievers have hemorrhoids, kids.

I don't know what to tell you.

You want to be a nothing in life?

Care if you get hemorrhoids or not.

If you're exerting so hard that part of your intestine comes out your butthole, you're fucking trying.

Until then, you haven't tried hard enough.

I don't even know if that's what a hemorrhoid is.

That's what I imagine it is.

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