Roxane Gay

Because I have a family now, and...

It's not even about what could happen to me, which I don't relish the thought of anything happening to me.

It's that other people could be harmed because historically I've gotten death threats for about 10 or 11 years now.

I've

Had to have security at almost every public event that I do.

It's really disconcerting to have to be followed around by men who are armed just because I have a few opinions that quite honestly are not particularly radical.

It's terrifying and it makes me.

afraid to write, to really write.

Like, I have not written the things that I really want to write, because I just am not willing.

Like, my risk tolerance as I've gotten older, now that I'm married, like, I have a, you know, my parent, well, my dad, my brother, their kids, like, I just, my risk tolerance is much lower than it used to be when it was just kind of me.

And that's because people have called my parents' house.

They have sent insane emails and not just one, but like hundreds, sometimes in a single day.

And so on the one hand, it's like, oh, someone has a lot of free time.

But on the other hand, you don't know which one of those people is actually going to show up at your doorstep.

Or at your public event.

Like, I did an event two days ago, and I was just like... And I think about this every time I go on stage, but I was like, oh, gosh, I hope today's not the day.

And so... Wow, really?

Yeah, really.

And we had two bodyguards in the wings.

And it was...