Roxane Gay

It is one ensconced in privilege that most people will never, ever have access to.

And she is actually working.

And I will say to her credit, she is not actually encouraging women to become trad lives in any way.

Then you have like Ballerina Farms, who is married to the heir to the JetBlue fortune.

And again, this is not really disclosed.

And so, yeah, it looks great for her to live on her farm with her ye old kitchen and her 5,000 children.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm so happy for them.

But so much of what they are promoting is not realistic for most people.

Farming is actually extremely expensive.

It is backbreaking work.

It is not glamorous.

Most people do not get to stroll around the farm being followed by someone who's filming them.

And so, yeah, you want that life, but you want that life exactly as it's being communicated to you, not as how it would be lived in your shoes.

So we need to really do some work to educate people about what they're actually choosing and also recognize that people are going to make that choice and nothing will make people embrace a bad choice faster than telling them they shouldn't be doing it.

Well, you can only bring people in if they're willing to join you there.

So many women are making their parenting and marriage choices their entire identity.

When you challenge their choices, you really are, as they perceive it, challenging who they are.

You and I

can say all of the right things and they're still going to hear it as judgment.