Ryan Bodenheimer

Didn't really know how to handle it.

So I kind of fell back on my faith.

And I think that's something that really helped me out a lot.

I went and talked to a chaplain.

The military gives us access.

Whatever religion you are, you know, it could be Muslim, Jewish, Christian, whatever.

They've got access for you.

And so I'm a Christian.

So I went to a chaplain and I sat with them and I was like, man, I don't know what to do here.

This is uncharted territory for me.

Like I had survivor's guilt, things like that.

And so I think just falling back on my faith and knowing that, you know, at the end of the day, I don't have to have it all figured out.

And that feeling off sometimes is just, it's normal as a human.

Like you're not always going to feel centered and dialed.

And to just go through the process of healing, sometimes the only way out is through.

It's kind of what I realized.

And then I sat back and realized, like, what do I want my story to be?

Do I want my story to be that I quit?

Or do I want my story to be, you know what, I...

i dealt with it i felt the pain and then i moved forward while still feeling the pain most days you know some some some nights going to bed crying you know having lost my best friend but waking up in the morning with a determined look just a determined feeling that i'm gonna i'm gonna do everything i can to represent his memory well