Ryan Shelton

into this thing.

But I also think like that's me giving in to no longer being the adult.

Because I'm like at the end of the day, I'm like, you're a three-year-old.

You need me to be like reliable and calm and like a consistent presence.

And in my like dream of as my psychologist is now telling me, she's like, I think you're trying to be the perfect dad and it's impossible.

But the perfect dad would be like always this kind of like

never overcome by their emotions and never sucked into losing control, basically.

Which is not possible, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know if there's ever a reason for anger, but I think being very firm with boundaries and direction and holding really strong boundaries with your kid is a very important part of parenting.

Mm-hmm.

But, yeah, it's when you lose control of your emotions and feel this anger that is when I lie in bed regretting it.

It's handy that you're not putting like a time limit on when that legendary status will be brought in because the future could be like... 20 years.

Yeah, every 20 years we assess all the people and see who can be legends.

We induct one person every 20 years.

Yeah, could be Inga.

Yeah, I was very moved by that reflection, as you've just heard.

But it's really interesting hearing it back after, God, it's been probably six or seven months since that episode.

And I noticed something in myself there that is very typical of me of continuing to give myself a bit of a hard time about everything.

And I talk in that reflection about how my psychologist had identified that I'm trying to be the perfect parent a lot of the time.

And I think something that I haven't recognized in that, that I didn't recognize in that reflection is to be the kind of parent I want to be, which is sort of flexible, like rather than meeting a parenting challenge by getting angry, I would rather be sort of flexible and funny and be able to turn that situation into an opportunity for, say, connection rather than anger.