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Chapter 1: What is matrescence and why is it important?
What is matrescence?
Matrescence is the motherhood equivalent of adolescence. It's like puberty 2.0. I call it a developmental earthquake and no one else can feel it.
Dr. Edna Lacabe specializes in perinatal and reproductive psychiatry. In this episode, Dr. Edna will guide us through the concept of matrescence, what it is and how we can support women going through it as well as mental illness.
There's this thing that happens for women. Their identity shifts. Something moves. Something changes in a woman. She's not the same. Just like the adolescent, the kid is no longer there. You're now an adult. Women are becoming something. There's this pull to focus on this baby to keep it alive. But there's this push on the other side, which is my old self. I need to sleep. I need to eat.
I need to go out. That's matrescence. I do not give a fuck. I-D-G-A-F is in the dictionary. Matrescence isn't.
Whoa.
How do we not have it in our phones, have it in our dictionaries while we're not talking about it?
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Chapter 2: How does matrescence compare to adolescence?
There's this thing called synaptic pruning.
Is this what would be colloquially known as baby brain?
Yeah. It's like a renovation happening in there. Everything on the outside looks the same. Could you tell when Penny was renovating inside her brain?
If there were signs. Gee, John, shaky ground there. I'm so glad I wasn't asked that question.
I thought you were going to start.
Well, I do often. And then I thought, well, Edna, our guest lecturer today and expert is your, well, I mean, she's your psychiatrist.
Yeah, I was going to say my friend. Can I say friend?
Yeah. Yeah. In the space we are.
Okay. But not outside this room.
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Chapter 3: What biological changes occur during matrescence?
We're not enemies either. Somewhere in the middle. Everyone, this is Dr. Edna, who is my psychiatrist.
Hello, Dr. Edna. Hello.
I'm Ryan. For ages, I've been trying to find a psychiatrist that I could talk to about my ADHD, get a proper ADHD assessment done.
You showed up without a wallet, I remember.
Well, yeah, that's true. It's convenient rocking up to your psychiatrist appointment.
Oh, you know what? Because of my ADHD that you assessed me for, I don't have any money to pay you.
Boom.
So I'm about to read you by, but just another, like a little snapshot of who you are. So we're going to do the episode last week, but you were unable to because it was your daughter's 18th. Is that right?
Correct.
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Chapter 4: How can partners support women experiencing matrescence?
Yeah, yeah. Why is that?
Why is that? Well, look, I'd like to blame my Africanness.
I wouldn't.
Yeah.
They would be so wrong if you did. I will not do that.
But you go for your life. Look, I have one life and I want to cram a lot in. You know, I want to do it all. So I just make plans upon plans upon plans. And then on the day I look at it all and go, how am I going to do this all? Some things give.
I love that explanation. And let me tell you, when you have Edna, you have 100% undivided attention, focus, and you understand why. You're awesome.
Yes. Oh, thanks.
Anyway, so Dr. Edna Legabe specializes in perinatal and reproductive psychiatry, working with women through challenges such as infertility, PMS, anxiety relating to childbirth, perinatal loss, and adjustment to parenting. Dr. Edna, so I'm about to go through her qualifications. Ryan, just have a guess.
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Chapter 5: What are common worries new parents face?
I checked it, but what if I have an accident? What if I have an accident? What if they choke in the back and I'm driving here not focused on them? What if this has happened? What if that's it? They think you're worried about things and then they go, okay, well, maybe I shouldn't go out at all, right? Then their behavior changes. Or I worry that the baby's going to get sick, so I won't go out.
You know, I won't put the baby on the floor because I worry that they're going to crawl on the floor, put their hands in their mouth, and they say, I'm not going to give the baby a carrot stick because I worry that they're going to choke. Yes, you worry, but you don't change behavior. Child still needs to go on the floor. Child still needs to have the care. They need to eat.
Child needs to be cared by other people. You need to let go. You need to be able to sleep. You need to be able to tell it. If those things are impaired, your function is impaired. This is now an anxiety disorder. Now it's getting in the way of your function.
Chapter 6: How does anxiety manifest in new mothers?
Okay.
And I imagine, just a slight tangential question, but related, I imagine that's the same even if you're not a mother. Yeah, everyone. It becomes an anxiety disorder when your behavior changes.
Yeah, behavior changes or it's showing up in your body. Or it's also, it may not be your behavior changes, but you start having negative self-talk. Like, I'm shit at this. I'm bad. I'm not a good mother. I'm not a good employee. I'm a crap friend. And you really become one with that thought. You start having really negative self-talk. that's not a normal worry.
Normal worries, I worry about this, but it passes.
So in terms of the anxiety versus anxiety disorder, like when the worry gets too much.
Yeah, disorder. The disorder. Your performance goes down.
Is that something in practice, is that something that you see a lot?
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Chapter 7: What impact does matrescence have on relationships?
A lot. Way more than depression. People come in the door saying, you know, they get a referral saying, this woman's depressed. But I actually sit down and I'm like, sounds more like worry. You're worried, you're worried, and you're crying a lot because you're worried that you feel like you're not a good mother or that you're failing somebody. It's not depression. It's anxiety.
But anxiety is the cousin of depression. It invites everyone in. It invites in depression. It can invite in OCD. It can invite in old trauma. It can invite in grief, previous griefs. It can invite in agoraphobia, social isolation. It can invite in psychosis. Yeah, it's a gateway.
Right. Right. So anxiety is the guest that knows everyone.
It has a lot of friends.
Chapter 8: How can society better support new parents?
Yeah, okay.
It's got trichotillomania on speed dial.
It doesn't have any good friends.
No, it doesn't, right? But it's functional.
Yeah.
You need anxiety. I need to be anxious to be running away from the lion.
Yeah, but I don't need all its friends.
I don't need all of his friends. I don't need it to stay all the time with me. I need it for a little bit. You know, I need it to get me from point A to point B. What was the one you just said?
The last one you said? The last friend? Trichotillomania. Okay. Is that the hair?
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