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The Imperfects

Dr Edna Lekabe - New Baby… New Brain… Matrescence.

26 Apr 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is matrescence and why is it important?

0.031 - 2.034 Hugh van Cuylenburg

What is matrescence?

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2.054 - 12.708 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Matrescence is the motherhood equivalent of adolescence. It's like puberty 2.0. I call it a developmental earthquake and no one else can feel it.

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12.728 - 25.245 Ryan Shelton

Dr. Edna Lacabe specializes in perinatal and reproductive psychiatry. In this episode, Dr. Edna will guide us through the concept of matrescence, what it is and how we can support women going through it as well as mental illness.

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25.816 - 49.272 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

There's this thing that happens for women. Their identity shifts. Something moves. Something changes in a woman. She's not the same. Just like the adolescent, the kid is no longer there. You're now an adult. Women are becoming something. There's this pull to focus on this baby to keep it alive. But there's this push on the other side, which is my old self. I need to sleep. I need to eat.

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50.253 - 58.644 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

I need to go out. That's matrescence. I do not give a fuck. I-D-G-A-F is in the dictionary. Matrescence isn't.

59.325 - 59.505 Unknown

Whoa.

59.825 - 65.272 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

How do we not have it in our phones, have it in our dictionaries while we're not talking about it?

Chapter 2: How does matrescence compare to adolescence?

65.292 - 68.016 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

There's this thing called synaptic pruning.

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68.296 - 70.639 Josh van Cuylenburg

Is this what would be colloquially known as baby brain?

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70.659 - 77.608 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Yeah. It's like a renovation happening in there. Everything on the outside looks the same. Could you tell when Penny was renovating inside her brain?

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78.095 - 88.105 Unknown

If there were signs. Gee, John, shaky ground there. I'm so glad I wasn't asked that question.

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94.987 - 95.828 Ryan Shelton

I thought you were going to start.

96.349 - 107.808 Hugh van Cuylenburg

Well, I do often. And then I thought, well, Edna, our guest lecturer today and expert is your, well, I mean, she's your psychiatrist.

107.908 - 109.571 Ryan Shelton

Yeah, I was going to say my friend. Can I say friend?

109.791 - 111.895 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Yeah. Yeah. In the space we are.

111.915 - 113.517 Ryan Shelton

Okay. But not outside this room.

Chapter 3: What biological changes occur during matrescence?

122.513 - 128.082 Ryan Shelton

We're not enemies either. Somewhere in the middle. Everyone, this is Dr. Edna, who is my psychiatrist.

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128.669 - 131.533 Hugh van Cuylenburg

Hello, Dr. Edna. Hello.

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131.713 - 138.802 Ryan Shelton

I'm Ryan. For ages, I've been trying to find a psychiatrist that I could talk to about my ADHD, get a proper ADHD assessment done.

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139.443 - 141.205 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

You showed up without a wallet, I remember.

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141.226 - 144.91 Ryan Shelton

Well, yeah, that's true. It's convenient rocking up to your psychiatrist appointment.

145.291 - 149.717 Hugh van Cuylenburg

Oh, you know what? Because of my ADHD that you assessed me for, I don't have any money to pay you.

151.499 - 152.28

Boom.

152.26 - 163.958 Ryan Shelton

So I'm about to read you by, but just another, like a little snapshot of who you are. So we're going to do the episode last week, but you were unable to because it was your daughter's 18th. Is that right?

164.118 - 164.599 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Correct.

Chapter 4: How can partners support women experiencing matrescence?

251.929 - 253.392 Hugh van Cuylenburg

Yeah, yeah. Why is that?

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253.572 - 257.5 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Why is that? Well, look, I'd like to blame my Africanness.

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259.163 - 259.503 Hugh van Cuylenburg

I wouldn't.

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0

262.133 - 266.9 Hugh van Cuylenburg

They would be so wrong if you did. I will not do that.

268.121 - 286.167 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

But you go for your life. Look, I have one life and I want to cram a lot in. You know, I want to do it all. So I just make plans upon plans upon plans. And then on the day I look at it all and go, how am I going to do this all? Some things give.

286.467 - 299.766 Ryan Shelton

I love that explanation. And let me tell you, when you have Edna, you have 100% undivided attention, focus, and you understand why. You're awesome.

299.907 - 301.028 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Yes. Oh, thanks.

301.529 - 320.335 Ryan Shelton

Anyway, so Dr. Edna Legabe specializes in perinatal and reproductive psychiatry, working with women through challenges such as infertility, PMS, anxiety relating to childbirth, perinatal loss, and adjustment to parenting. Dr. Edna, so I'm about to go through her qualifications. Ryan, just have a guess.

Chapter 5: What are common worries new parents face?

2673.47 - 2695.984 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

I checked it, but what if I have an accident? What if I have an accident? What if they choke in the back and I'm driving here not focused on them? What if this has happened? What if that's it? They think you're worried about things and then they go, okay, well, maybe I shouldn't go out at all, right? Then their behavior changes. Or I worry that the baby's going to get sick, so I won't go out.

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2695.964 - 2712.739 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

You know, I won't put the baby on the floor because I worry that they're going to crawl on the floor, put their hands in their mouth, and they say, I'm not going to give the baby a carrot stick because I worry that they're going to choke. Yes, you worry, but you don't change behavior. Child still needs to go on the floor. Child still needs to have the care. They need to eat.

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2713.479 - 2727.497 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Child needs to be cared by other people. You need to let go. You need to be able to sleep. You need to be able to tell it. If those things are impaired, your function is impaired. This is now an anxiety disorder. Now it's getting in the way of your function.

0

Chapter 6: How does anxiety manifest in new mothers?

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2728.533 - 2739.307 Hugh van Cuylenburg

And I imagine, just a slight tangential question, but related, I imagine that's the same even if you're not a mother. Yeah, everyone. It becomes an anxiety disorder when your behavior changes.

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2739.407 - 2759.994 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Yeah, behavior changes or it's showing up in your body. Or it's also, it may not be your behavior changes, but you start having negative self-talk. Like, I'm shit at this. I'm bad. I'm not a good mother. I'm not a good employee. I'm a crap friend. And you really become one with that thought. You start having really negative self-talk. that's not a normal worry.

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2760.155 - 2763.922 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Normal worries, I worry about this, but it passes.

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2763.942 - 2771.137 Hugh van Cuylenburg

So in terms of the anxiety versus anxiety disorder, like when the worry gets too much.

2771.357 - 2773.882 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

Yeah, disorder. The disorder. Your performance goes down.

2775.245 - 2778.672 Hugh van Cuylenburg

Is that something in practice, is that something that you see a lot?

Chapter 7: What impact does matrescence have on relationships?

2779.057 - 2798.562 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

A lot. Way more than depression. People come in the door saying, you know, they get a referral saying, this woman's depressed. But I actually sit down and I'm like, sounds more like worry. You're worried, you're worried, and you're crying a lot because you're worried that you feel like you're not a good mother or that you're failing somebody. It's not depression. It's anxiety.

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2798.942 - 2817.716 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

But anxiety is the cousin of depression. It invites everyone in. It invites in depression. It can invite in OCD. It can invite in old trauma. It can invite in grief, previous griefs. It can invite in agoraphobia, social isolation. It can invite in psychosis. Yeah, it's a gateway.

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2817.896 - 2821.352 Hugh van Cuylenburg

Right. Right. So anxiety is the guest that knows everyone.

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2822.233 - 2823.094 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

It has a lot of friends.

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Chapter 8: How can society better support new parents?

2823.114 - 2823.856 Hugh van Cuylenburg

Yeah, okay.

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2823.876 - 2826.319 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

It's got trichotillomania on speed dial.

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2826.499 - 2827.501 Josh van Cuylenburg

It doesn't have any good friends.

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2827.521 - 2830.425 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

No, it doesn't, right? But it's functional.

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2830.725 - 2831.226 Josh van Cuylenburg

Yeah.

2831.266 - 2834.331 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

You need anxiety. I need to be anxious to be running away from the lion.

2834.551 - 2836.013 Josh van Cuylenburg

Yeah, but I don't need all its friends.

2836.128 - 2844.82 Dr. Edna Lekgabe

I don't need all of his friends. I don't need it to stay all the time with me. I need it for a little bit. You know, I need it to get me from point A to point B. What was the one you just said?

2845.06 - 2849.346 Ryan Shelton

The last one you said? The last friend? Trichotillomania. Okay. Is that the hair?

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