Sabrina Zohar

And I think...

I'll say this.

I used to date the emotionally unavailable people because that was my baseline.

I knew how to keep myself safe.

I knew how to perform.

I knew how to try to be the fixer.

I knew how to project onto them all the things that I wanted them to be.

And that's why my mama would say, what if or what is, right?

What are we looking at here?

Now that I'm in a healthy relationship, I got to say,

You know when someone's into you when they like you.

This person is going to call you.

They're going to have conversations.

If you come to them with something, they work with you through it because it's not about, like, I'm not a fan of the don't go to bed angry.

Go to bed angry with a plan to talk in the morning because we need to have the rupture but regulate to have the repair.

And I find that with the emotionally unavailable and then with the other dynamic because if you're secure, you don't entertain emotionally unavailable because you know you deserve more.

And if you don't demand it, who's going to?

versus if you're insecure and you're like, this is all I can get.

There's nothing else.

And you're convincing yourself and you're translating crumbs into a meal when you deserve the entire loaf, not just a morsel of what they're giving.