Sam Hinkie

And I think translates in lots of other places that your ability to drive change is about the quality of your relationship, not your hierarchy.

We used to talk about this with our kids.

When your kids are two years old, you're like, don't do this, do this.

You're hopefully a benevolent dictator, but there's a bunch of rules.

Don't touch the stove.

Don't put that in your mouth.

They have to listen.

If they don't, they're draconian consequences.

Now, draw some line out in the future.

They're 25.

How much authority do you have over them?

Not that much.

You can guilt them into some things.

Maybe if you're still supporting them in one way or another, there's some ramifications for their behavior.

But most of your ability to influence them, which isn't that what we all want, is to be able to influence the people we care about, particularly for their own good.

is about the quality of the relationship you've built up over time.

I think about it that you're sort of pouring yourselves into people you care about so that they will call down the line when they don't have to do what you say at all, when they're their own people, but they still respect your opinion and think he might be able to help.

Coach might be able to help me in this situation.

Dad might be able to help me in this situation.

I think that notion is critical.