Sam Troth

Um, she gave me some good tools on, on how to re-script my dreams and stuff like that and some better coping mechanisms, um, to use and, um, which helped a lot.

But, um,

Yeah, addiction got really bad.

You know, lost my kids and my wife walked away from me.

So how many kids you got?

We got four between us and then we also have three whānau children.

So we – everything's good now, but there was a point probably about eight or nine years ago when my addiction was at its peak and I was aggressive and –

and and violent and um and she drew a line in the sand and she left bro she left me and um and i tried to get clean and it worked for a while and then it creeps back in again you know until you do the real work yeah i've with my friend who i'd love to get on one day

I'm quite lucky, bro, because my trauma was keeping me in addiction, bro.

So I had to own that, and I didn't need the drugs anymore.

So it's been a long journey.

So 2019 was my breaking point, and I'd started using again by my partner's back and by my wife's back.

And I was at the point of I didn't want to be anymore, Dave.

I couldn't get rid of the bad dreams.

I couldn't get rid of the triggers.

So people talk about triggers, and it's quite an overused buzzword, I feel.

But for me, bro, it's smells, sights, things like that.

So I can smell something, bro, and that puts me straight back in that place.

And so –

For me, bro, it was just too much.