Sara Barron

I have a joke.

But I don't know what FIFA stands for.

I know the word football is in it, and I know association is in it.

I like...

I always root for the South American.

By the way, this isn't about being American and therefore not caring about football.

It's about raised by a man who didn't watch sport, married to a man who doesn't watch.

I just can't connect.

I just like the South American teams because I like how they pray to Jesus.

I like when they come out.

and they pray to that Jesus, and I'm like, I'm with those boys because they're praying to Jesus, I like the bodies, and I root for the underdog.

Tick my boxes.

I'll do my joke now.

Go on then.

Okay, one of the beautiful things about the World Cup, she says after Googling World Cup, is that you see all these different races and nationalities presented on the pitch, which is a field.

And notice how little difference there is between them.

They all just look like humans, you guys, in their prime.

Similarly, when you see any international football team getting off a plane dressed in their smart suits, they all just look like rapists en route to a disco.

Who are you guys reading for?

Oh, that's who you are?