Sarah Jakes Roberts

And so I know how to get myself to a space of safety. I know how to communicate to my husband because I know what is safe for me. what I need from him as well. And he knows what safety looks like for him as well. But when you don't know what it looks like, and there are times even in a marriage where you're just on autopilot, things are just going crazy.

And so I know how to get myself to a space of safety. I know how to communicate to my husband because I know what is safe for me. what I need from him as well. And he knows what safety looks like for him as well. But when you don't know what it looks like, and there are times even in a marriage where you're just on autopilot, things are just going crazy.

And now you're trying to like control everyone else's movement. I think you have to know I am out of my safety. And because I am out of my safety, I am now in survival mode. And because I am in survival mode, I have a different set of expectations than when I'm functioning from a place of safety. When I'm in survival mode, if you have a bad day, I think you're about to break up with me.

And now you're trying to like control everyone else's movement. I think you have to know I am out of my safety. And because I am out of my safety, I am now in survival mode. And because I am in survival mode, I have a different set of expectations than when I'm functioning from a place of safety. When I'm in survival mode, if you have a bad day, I think you're about to break up with me.

Are you rejecting me? Did something go wrong? Because I don't feel safe by myself. But if we can get to a place of safety for ourselves, we can invite other people into the intimacy of our safety. We can visit the intimacy of their safety. And we can also give one each other space when that other person needs to get back to their place of safety.

Are you rejecting me? Did something go wrong? Because I don't feel safe by myself. But if we can get to a place of safety for ourselves, we can invite other people into the intimacy of our safety. We can visit the intimacy of their safety. And we can also give one each other space when that other person needs to get back to their place of safety.

I saw a very encouraging article that the divorce rates are actually going down because people have done a lot of work in therapy and understanding triggers and communicating, so marriage is becoming more safe than it once was. But I think that we also have a generation of women who...

I saw a very encouraging article that the divorce rates are actually going down because people have done a lot of work in therapy and understanding triggers and communicating, so marriage is becoming more safe than it once was. But I think that we also have a generation of women who...

feel like they saw a previous generation of women lose themselves in relationship lose their voice lose their ability to explore their creativity and their power to become subservient to whoever their partner was and i think there's a legitimate fear in that for women who feel like hey i do want to create a life with someone i do want to experience love

feel like they saw a previous generation of women lose themselves in relationship lose their voice lose their ability to explore their creativity and their power to become subservient to whoever their partner was and i think there's a legitimate fear in that for women who feel like hey i do want to create a life with someone i do want to experience love

But I also want to be the fullness of who I am. And I'm not sure that the two can coexist. And they are so committed to preserving who they are that they don't want to take a chance on relationships. And I think that that is a fair perspective based off of what we can see.

But I also want to be the fullness of who I am. And I'm not sure that the two can coexist. And they are so committed to preserving who they are that they don't want to take a chance on relationships. And I think that that is a fair perspective based off of what we can see.

But I do think that when we are in relationships with our partners, that we have to be willing to make space for the reality that Just because what we saw didn't seem healthy, it doesn't mean that we can't create something healthy.

But I do think that when we are in relationships with our partners, that we have to be willing to make space for the reality that Just because what we saw didn't seem healthy, it doesn't mean that we can't create something healthy.

And in wanting to create something healthy, you have to make sure that you and whoever you're going to build with want the same things. That you're willing to create your own definition of what love and marriage and partnership looks like. And that whatever that definition is, that you will commit to protecting your definition. Because it may not be the world's definition.

And in wanting to create something healthy, you have to make sure that you and whoever you're going to build with want the same things. That you're willing to create your own definition of what love and marriage and partnership looks like. And that whatever that definition is, that you will commit to protecting your definition. Because it may not be the world's definition.

It may not be your parents definition or the church's definition or whatever. But you got to be willing to protect your definition so that you can have a bond that lasts throughout time. My husband and I like there are certain things we want for our family. There are certain things we want for our marriage. And we're often in worlds and cultures that don't always support that. Really?

It may not be your parents definition or the church's definition or whatever. But you got to be willing to protect your definition so that you can have a bond that lasts throughout time. My husband and I like there are certain things we want for our family. There are certain things we want for our marriage. And we're often in worlds and cultures that don't always support that. Really?

But we know what it is.

But we know what it is.