Sarah Sherman

I just have this strong memory of her being like, I was like two or whatever, like this big, and there was a bunch of pedophiles on, and she was like, it sucks that you guys want to have sex with kids. And then I was watching being like, that does suck. Oh my God.

I just have this strong memory of her being like, I was like two or whatever, like this big, and there was a bunch of pedophiles on, and she was like, it sucks that you guys want to have sex with kids. And then I was watching being like, that does suck. Oh my God.

Meanwhile, me being eight, being like, I wish an adult wanted to have sex with me. I was in love with all my teachers. Hey, really? Of course. I was like precocious little bitch.

Meanwhile, me being eight, being like, I wish an adult wanted to have sex with me. I was in love with all my teachers. Hey, really? Of course. I was like precocious little bitch.

It is just like, I'm afraid.

It is just like, I'm afraid.

Jesus. Hello, nurse. I'm afraid of saying his full name because you could find him. Don't say his full name.

Jesus. Hello, nurse. I'm afraid of saying his full name because you could find him. Don't say his full name.

I had an English teacher. This is going to send you guys to the moon in a not SpaceX rocket ship, in a normal rocket ship.

I had an English teacher. This is going to send you guys to the moon in a not SpaceX rocket ship, in a normal rocket ship.

English teacher. He had a gray and red long beard.

English teacher. He had a gray and red long beard.

Red, gray hair combed over to the side, much like our president. Combed over.

Red, gray hair combed over to the side, much like our president. Combed over.

Like legit 100 years old. Every day would wear like a Snoopy tie. The character Snoopy? The character Snoopy.

Like legit 100 years old. Every day would wear like a Snoopy tie. The character Snoopy? The character Snoopy.

A funny little tie. And he, me and my best friend in high school, Emily, would sit in the parking lot and watch him smoke his pipe in his car during lunch break and just be like, that is so funny. Fucking hot.

A funny little tie. And he, me and my best friend in high school, Emily, would sit in the parking lot and watch him smoke his pipe in his car during lunch break and just be like, that is so funny. Fucking hot.

It's giving, what's the guy's name? The Giver. It's giving the Giver.

It's giving, what's the guy's name? The Giver. It's giving the Giver.