Sarah Sherman

Mine's like, you guys are going to have to edit it out. It's going to be so fucking brutal.

Mine's like, you guys are going to have to edit it out. It's going to be so fucking brutal.

And I'm speaking my truth. You know this is true. I know the clock is running out. I'll take my time.

And I'm speaking my truth. You know this is true. I know the clock is running out. I'll take my time.

Santa Maria Novella. I don't think so, honey, that you reformulated my patchouli. I have been wearing the same patchouli from Santa Maria Novella for five years. I went to go buy another bottle, spray it on me. I go, I'm sorry, why is it not spraying sticky? Why is it not so sticky? Why is it not coming out smelling like balsamic vinaigrette and stank? and rank. Why does it not?

Santa Maria Novella. I don't think so, honey, that you reformulated my patchouli. I have been wearing the same patchouli from Santa Maria Novella for five years. I went to go buy another bottle, spray it on me. I go, I'm sorry, why is it not spraying sticky? Why is it not so sticky? Why is it not coming out smelling like balsamic vinaigrette and stank? and rank. Why does it not?

Why does it smell nice? Why does it smell like a dog peed on me? You changed it. I called the office in Italy. They've been making perfumes there in an apothecary. Monks make the perfumes since the 1600s in Tuscany. Five seconds. I call them and I say, you reformulated. They said, no, we didn't. I go, but when I spray my shirt, it's not stained brown because that was old formula.

Why does it smell nice? Why does it smell like a dog peed on me? You changed it. I called the office in Italy. They've been making perfumes there in an apothecary. Monks make the perfumes since the 1600s in Tuscany. Five seconds. I call them and I say, you reformulated. They said, no, we didn't. I go, but when I spray my shirt, it's not stained brown because that was old formula.

My old patchouli formulation. You used to spray it on your shirt. There would be a big brown stain like you spilled soy sauce on you.

My old patchouli formulation. You used to spray it on your shirt. There would be a big brown stain like you spilled soy sauce on you.

Just the way I like it. This is just too brutal.

Just the way I like it. This is just too brutal.

The bottle would be so sticky, brown, sticky all over like syrup. You couldn't even touch it. I used to be able to walk into a fucking elevator and everyone would go, whoa, whoa. Get a job, hippie. And now it smells nice. And then they gaslight me, and I call, and I was like, hey, you guys.

The bottle would be so sticky, brown, sticky all over like syrup. You couldn't even touch it. I used to be able to walk into a fucking elevator and everyone would go, whoa, whoa. Get a job, hippie. And now it smells nice. And then they gaslight me, and I call, and I was like, hey, you guys.

This Italian woman is like, no, it's the same. I email every email.

This Italian woman is like, no, it's the same. I email every email.

Buongiorno.

Buongiorno.

No.

No.